Chocolate, Lingerie & Bubbles

Bells and Whistles

2011-02-03T08:21:00.002+05:00

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So, I'm logging into my blogger account for the first time in nearly a year and there are all sorts of new bells and whistles for me to get used to.
Firstly I'm pleased to see that there is now a stats tab, no need to add a code to an external site to track who is coming and from where. Of course the stats tab is not so exciting when no one is actually reading this apart from me. Guess I need to get out there and do the rounds to visit other blogs - even though I've been reading on RSS for the last year!

Ah well, that's what happens I guess.

Chocolate

2011-02-03T07:57:00.002+05:00

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I never saw this post coming......

After spending a few months back in the UK last year where I was able to gorge myself on British made chocolate as much as my purse would allow I think I've actually 'grown out' of loving chocolate quite so much.

I loved and indulged myself with chocolate throughout my childhood, teenage years and early adulthood but it was only when I went to live in Hong Kong in 1998 that I started to fixate on it quite so much. Even then I never allowed myself to eat anything other than British chocolate so I'd go for weeks and weeks, sometimes months without so much as a nibble of the stuff*.
I think that having all those years of not having access to the chocolate of my dreams made me crave it all the more. So when I was back in the UK last year I found myself eating such huge amounts that I was literally making myself ill. I couldn't sleep at night, my heart was always racing, I had terrible heartburn and quite frankly I was setting myself up for an almighty fall.

Luckily after a few weeks I realised this and began to slow my intake down, I'd only allow myself to buy one bar at a time (instead of going with the panic hording that I'd done all those years while in Asia) and by the time I left the UK again last October I only packed 2 small bars with me.

Now I find myself not craving it at all. I still have a need for sugar, but no where near like before, which I am sure my pancreas thanks me for!

So 2011, the year of living with a bit less sugar......

* I did always get my sugar hits from mint and chews though.

A year later.........

2011-02-03T07:29:00.002+05:00

Recap on the last year........

Living in the MidWest with my lovely man for about 4 months, then just when he was about to head into a 3 month whirlwind of traveling on business trips all around the globe I got offered a rather great job in the UK for 3 months - so I took it.
Living back in the UK for what I knew would be just a short time was great, I got to spend every weekend with people I love, visiting friends and family all over the country.
Then the posting was over and it was back to the US where the man and I got on a motorbike* and rode for four thousand miles over the North East (5 states) and Canada (5 provinces).
We stayed at posh hotels, camp grounds, mom & pop B&B's and one rather dodgy motel, it was quite the adventure.
2 months later the summer was over and it was time to go back to work, this time I had just a 6 week job waiting for me so headed back to the UK wondering what would happen next in this adventure. Within 2 days of my arriving back in the UK I'd been offered two very good jobs, one in the UK - tempting and one in the Caribbean - hmmm very tempting.
First day of November saw me packing up my summer clothes and heading to the beach, I've been here ever since and am loving it. Even more exciting is that the lovely man came down for a month over Christmas and decided that he loves it here too.
So he went back to the US, worked a few things out with his company, got a new job here on this island and is moving down to this small island in the sun with me.
He arrives in two weeks, all a bit exciting really, both of us living and working in the same country - together.

So that's been my 2010......

* Oh yes it turns out that I'm a bit of a biker chick - who knew!

Blue skies

2010-02-11T21:15:00.005+05:00

I left this beautiful island with its stunning blue skies.

To live under this stunning blue sky.

And love, so much love that I can hardly stop smiling, even in the snow.

And more.....

2010-02-11T21:07:00.004+05:00

Not sure that there is anyone still out there but after reading an email from DG asking me how life is on the new island I thought I'd do a quick post.

Life on the island in the Caribbean was just what was needed after 11 years of living in Asia, the slow pace and easy smiles along side the clean air and wonderful waters.

And then I met a wonderful amazing man who has totally swept me off my feet, so just before Christmas I left the wonderful island to be with him, in the Midwest of the USA. Now it's cold outside and there is lots of snow but I've never been happier and more cherished. And I quite like drinking Hot Chocolate.

We are very very happy.

Leaving on a jet plane.....

2009-07-06T04:48:00.002+05:00

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I leave Asia tomorrow after 11 years for a new life in the Caribbean.

I'm really quite excited. It has been quite some time since I was this excited about new possibilities.

Top Tips

2009-05-24T15:28:00.002+05:00

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Things I have learnt in the last few days.

Marble floors and wet rain are not a good combo.
Throw in some jostling by 2 policemen and 4 building management type people and it is a really bad combo.
Falling over in front of other people is not embarrassing if it really really hurts - then you just don't care who saw you.
Falling over and your head hitting the edge of a heavy glass door then bouncing on the floor is not good.
A block of ice wrapped in a clean tea towel really does help with the bump, but not so much with the pain.
Being disoriented and confused enough to actually call your parents and tell them of the above situation leads to them being rather worried - apparently.
Feeling crap but going to work the next day might well result in tears.
Going home from work alone while in tears might result in the journey being rather fuzzy.
Not being able to eat anything since the fall for 24 hours doesn't help much with the light headiness and dizziness.

Going to bed at about 6:00pm, sleeping through the alarm and being woken up by your boss who has forced their way in past the maid 14 hours later is not a good way to wake up. Especially when they are for some unfathomable reason very angry with you!

When confused, in pain, disorientated and being sick do not ask the above mentioned boss if they think you should go to the doctor - because sometimes the boss says stupid things like "oh probably not"

Do listen to your older sister who tells you on the phone in no uncertain terms that you should get yourself to the doctor ASAP.

Going to the doctor and finding yourself crying from the moment they say hello to the moment you leave with a 5 day sick note and orders to rest is a good thing!

Being brave

2009-05-14T19:53:00.002+05:00

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I've been told that I'm being brave so often in the last few weeks, usually by people who spend their whole lives in the same town or even village where they grew up, but I don't understand why people keep saying this to me?
I've been talking to a couple of friends who I knew from school days, one of whom told me in all seriousness that she couldn't imagine getting on a flight and coming to visit me in Hong Kong for a holiday never mind making her life in another part of the world. Somehow I manged to convince her that she should come and visit - and finally after my gentle 'bullying' she agreed to come. She arrives next week for 10 days, we will spend time in Hong Kong and in Beijing and she is so very excited which I think is wonderful. I adore showing friends around my favourite city, its like sharing a delicious cake with a friend. I will get to enjoy my adopted city through new eyes all over again.

I'm so full of excitement about my move but fear doesn't come in to it. Whats the worse that can happen? I don't like living there so when my contract finishes I move somewhere new? If I really really don't like it then I can leave straight away. But after 11 years of living in Asia I'm confident that there is very little I can't handle - is this being brave?

My sister has been laughing at me as one of the things I'm really excited about is that I will have access to an organic food farm when ever I need, some fantastic bookshops and clean air. These things are important to me.

One step closer

2009-05-13T16:33:00.005+05:00

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I totally understand the need for immigration procedure and red tape, but having spent hours filling out forms and collecting supporting documents I was relieved to finally get a visa for my next location squared away this morning.

The most interesting form (f0r me at least) was the one where I had to list the name of every country I had visited over the last 10 years and include dates - that took a few hours and lots of passport checking. After arriving in Hong Kong 11 years ago I've had plenty of opportunities and occasions to visit many places in the region. One thing that did strike me was that I have visited many different regions within one country over the years. And my new goal is to add at least one new country to my 'countries I have visited' list every year for as long as that is possible. I've not travelled around Europe since I was in my early 20's so there are quite a few countries there that could be saved up for last - till then there is a whole world of exploring to enjoy.

Excitment

2009-05-11T18:31:00.002+05:00

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I was talking to a friend back in the UK a couple of days ago. She remarked that I must be very very excited about my upcoming move. My reply was that I am so excited I have had to push the joy way way down inside as so many people I work with are filled with sour grapes at the news and I'm seriously not 'allowed' to talk about anything at all!

Which is why I've come back here to the blog, where I can ramble along without the fear of seeing a dodgy look across someones face. Mostly because there are not many people out there reading any more. Plus of course I can't see your faces! ~grin~

A new quality of life

2009-05-10T06:29:00.003+05:00

6 months ago I wrote that I was considering downsizing my life massively. And yes I am. I have shipped out 4 boxes and am checking in 2 large suitcases when I fly to a new part of the world in 7 weeks time.

I'm very excited. I'm starting my 4th life and I can't wait!

Its a plan then!

2008-11-17T18:31:00.004+05:00

From my mother (grumble)

"Your sister has told us we have to go for dinner at some country hotel for your father's birthday, I don't know what all the fuss is about!"

Right, full steam ahead!

Have also just spoken to my parents oldest friends who are happy and eager to drive 300 miles to attend the surprise Sunday lunch.

Flight booked and paid for - check
Guest invitations sent out - check
Hotel rooms booked - check
Guest of honour attendance secured - check

All this total makes up for the rubbish day at work I had - not helped by me sleeping through the alarm for the first time in a veryyyy veryyyyy long time!

The summer and beyond

2008-11-16T10:21:00.004+05:00

Summer 2008 was wonderful, in too many ways to try to recap. But now the fresh memories are fading and its time to have some more wonderful layers added.

********

In four weeks I'm heading to one of my favourite cities in one of my favourite countries to spend some time with my all time favourite friend. And oh I'm excited. There will be sunshine and laughter and love. And visits to Lush

*******

This last week I've been surprised by the kindness of colleagues and overwhelmed by the care of friends. And parental issues have been raised to the foreground again. Mostly because friends can't believe the levels of effort I'm going through organising a surprise 70th birthday party for my father in January. Just because some of my family are rubbish doesn't mean that the rest are.

I've booked 5 rooms for family at a lovely little Coaching Inn for all, put down a deposit for a Saturday night dinner for 9 of us. And thanks to the wonders of facebook have been able to track down my fathers cousins who along with friends, in laws and siblings are going to turn up for a surprise Sunday lunch. I've got a flight back to the UK thats not going to cost more than a months salary and booked time of work. The ONLY thing my sibling has to do is to tell my parents she is taking them to dinner at the Inn on his birthday so they don't make other plans.

*************

Thanks to the best geek hero in my life I have also been able to catch the latest episodes of Emmerdale - clearly life is good!

************

And I'm weighing up the options of downsizing all my worldly belongings to leave me free to just jump freely to a new country in the next six months. Which raises the questions, even if I scan in all my old photos from pre digital era what to do with the originals?

************

I sat on a rock and looked at this view while I had lunch today

2008-07-06T03:02:00.000+05:00

Life is good

Happy Canada Day

2008-07-02T08:51:00.000+05:00

On Tour

2008-06-29T04:17:00.000+05:00

I'm away .......

Cocktails and 3 legged races

2008-06-28T04:41:00.002+05:00

I've just had the most wonderful 12 hours sleep. It seems that if you spend the afternoon celebrating the end of a project by drinking cocktails, having 3 legged races and eating lamb chops you will sleep really really well when you get home at 7pm.

Right, now to start packing. 1 more sleep and I'm off On Tour.

In my inbox today

2008-06-26T16:03:00.004+05:00

Dear Mia,

Good news in the paper today—berries are late due to cool weather! The picking season is just starting, so you may get lucky. Weather is exceptionally fine today—blue skies and 20°C. All-in-all, it looks like we’re preparing for your visit.

Hope all is well. Write when it suits.

***********************

I like it when a plan* comes together!

*to pick fruit or otherwise

93 minutes

2008-06-25T13:27:00.005+05:00

During 6 conversations so far I've spent 93 minutes (lots of that on hold) and I don't want to think about how many $$$'s making long distance calls trying to get something sorted out in Hong Kong.

19 times I've been told "Please hold the line, I just need to check your account details"

5 times I've been told "we will post your cheque to you in the next few days".

5 times I've replied "Please check your records, where you will see that I submitted a request in writing that you transfer the funds directly to my account"

5 times I've been told "OK thank you Ms Mia, I see that information hasn't been noted on your file, but yes I have a copy of your request, I will make a note of your request"

3 times I've been told "There is no problem, everything is in order, we will process your claim in the next few days"

2 times I've been told "Oh there seems to be a problem, we need document X and a copy of your passport"

2 times I've replied "You have document X, you also have a copy of my passport, please check your records again"

2 times I've been told "Everything has been processed, we have your cheque ready to transfer into your account, it will be done first thing tomorrow morning."

2 times I've replied "Please call me to confirm when the cheque has been deposited.

I'm still waiting ......................... and if I'm still waiting on Monday morning I shall be turning up in person at the office, and if they think I'm an annoying customer on the phone, they should just gird their loins in anticipation of a face to face stomp.

****************

24 hours later its sorted, but no they didn't ring and tell me. Oh well, moving on.

I am fabulous

2008-06-24T14:55:00.003+05:00

It's official, I just had an end of project review and my immediate boss thinks I'm the bees knees, I take on lots of challenges and am quick to adapt to new situations and says how I've made everyone's lives much more interesting just by being around - and she said that was a good thing! She's also said that by bringing me on board she has received praise as well.

Oh isn't that just a wonderful way to finish a Tuesday!

Right, I have a few loose ends to tie up in the next 3 days then I'm off On Tour, as mentioned below I'm heading to the Americas this summer.
Plan A is to head to Vancouver, then Vancouver Island for some much needed fresh air and exercise, I shall be hiking (!!!) for 2 weeks and then I'm heading across the boarder to the PNW where if I am extremely lucky I shall be having even more adventures.

I'm thinking of taking a week in LA or perhaps Vegas, and as I'll be travelling alone for that part of my trip I'm hoping I can have some fun times.

If not then I'll either fly over to NY where I have friends and family, or down to Charleston where my cousin lives with her military husband - her reply to my "perhaps I might come visit, would that be ok?" was to say "Well the only thing here are 30,000 marines, but you're welcome to come visit" - after 10 years of living in Asia and being very low on the dating pile she has no idea how enticing that sounds.
But quite honestly, I'm not fixing anything in stone, its all going to be about where the wind and the mood (and the airline prices) take me.

So, if you had a week to show me around your home town/city/area what would you suggest?

Nice

2008-06-23T19:20:00.003+05:00

One of the best things about becoming more accepting of myself is that when I am described as being "nice" I am able to happily agree. Its not now nor has it ever been an insult in my eyes.

So yes, I'm nice. As well as being a whole heap of other things.

I'm also rather excited as in a few short days I shall be heading off on a bit of an adventure, going to visit a brand new continent*. Yep I'm coming to North America.

For fresh air and farmers markets, for sunshine and showers, for supermarkets and sci-fi. For hiking and exploring, trying out my new camera - its a grown up persons camera with lenses and everything! And if you scroll down to the bottom of this page you'll see that one of my favourite things are raspberries - and there are going to hopefully be oddles of them!

*Apart from 3 nights in New York 9 years ago, which really doesn't count.

I'm back ...........

2008-06-23T19:00:00.002+05:00

Well actually I'm back because Madame Chiang gave me a great title for the next couple of weeks, I'm going on a 'Tour de Whore' - SHE says.
I just think I'm going on a bit of a trip to some funky places and will meet lots of people on the way.

Anyone out there got me in their RSS feed still?

Living life

2008-03-26T19:58:00.002+05:00

All is wonderful.

I'm a tad tipsy after an evening drinking cocktails.

Lots of affirmation of love.

All is wonderful my love bucket over runeth

03:35

2008-03-15T00:35:00.000+05:00

I just had the best birthday party in a very long time.

Really.

Alibi

2008-03-09T19:17:00.001+05:00

My alibi on Saturday night was the flirty Frenchman. Who was yours?

What's Lemonel?

2008-03-07T22:02:00.001+05:00

I innocently asked ...............

Stuff I learnt from TV

2008-03-06T17:36:00.005+05:00

I was surfing away at the US immigration website and I hit the Naturalization Self Test option, with absolutely no prep at all I got 78% correct. So I guess all those years of watching The West Wing finally paid off!

Although I have to admit some of the questions were a little tricky, such as ...

What are the two major political parties in the United States today?
The House of Representatives and the Senate
Federalist and Reform
Bull-Moose and the Whigs
Democratic and Republican

or even

Who helped the Pilgrims in America?
Christopher Columbus
George Washington
Thomas Jefferson
The American Indians/Native Americans

7/7

2008-03-05T05:30:00.006+05:00

Yesterday over lunch with some new friends I was asked if any old flames would be attending an up and coming event of mine. After a brief pause to flip through my mental guest list I realised no. I also realised that 6 out of the last 7 men that I have dated and/or interested in are now married*. This morning I got a round robin email from the seventh - to say that he and his new gf are having a baby.

*Only counting the still living ones obviously.

The cold fairy visit

2008-03-04T04:11:00.003+05:00

Last night I was feeling great, cooked myself a healthy supper and was curled up in bed at a decent hour with a good book. Then at 2:00am I woke up with a cold! A thumping head, streaming nose, sinus pulsating, dry throat coughing, cold! Seriously that cold fairy had better not visit me again in the night. ~bleh~

Conversation with aging parents

2008-03-02T18:26:00.003+05:00

My father called me* this evening, and after a full dissection of why I didn't answer the phone when he called earlier. (I was out!) He asked ........

Father: "would you like to talk to your mother**
Mia: "umm ok, if she wants to"
Father (whispers): "its Mother's Day"
Mia: "not here its not, but ok, put her on"

muffled conversation in the background
Father: "It's Mia, she wants to talk to you"
Mother: "But I'm making the tea"
Father: "It's ok, the tea can wait"
Mother: "Oh ok then"

Mother: "Hello"
Mia: "Are you having a good day Mother?"
Mother: "Oh thank you yes, we've just heard that your Father's 2nd cousin has just died, I never met her but your Father said that Grandma took you once to her place in Portsmouth for afternoon tea - do you remember her? You must have been about 6."
Mia: Not really, Grandma took me to lots of relatives for afternoon tea.
Mother: Well we are going to the funeral and apparently the service is going to be held at XXXX Abbey, which as you know*** is just a ruin so it should be quite an interesting service"
Mia: "As long as it doesn't rain, so how are you?"
Mother: "Ok then, bye"

Yep, thats one of the 3 conversations that my mother and I have had since last August.
~sigh~
And yet I still have people not believing me when I tell them she has no interest in me.

This phone call is even more odd when you remember that they didn't bother calling me on Christmas Day, New Years Day or my birthday last year. Yet I'm still expected to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.

*A very rare happening these days
** A never before suggested idea
*** Actually I didn't, but great, now I do!

So much to say, no words to explain

2008-03-02T16:35:00.001+05:00

Everything is just peachy.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend too.

~sigh~

2008-02-26T20:15:00.004+05:00

I've been arranging a bit of a gathering for a while now.
Out of an original 23 who said they would be able to attend its down to FOUR!!
Plus 3 still undecided.

We're only a couple of weeks away from the event and its making me a little sad. So instead of counting the people who are not coming I'm trying realllllly hard to be excited about the 4 who are, and still holding out hope that the 3 undecided will make their decision in my favour soon.

~sigh~

I've already had to re write my menu plan and cancel accommodation.

Edit: Just to clarify and to put straight the person who has submitted comments laughing at me for only having 4 people in my life. The 23 I mentioned are those who were flying in from other countries for the party. As it stands now, there are nine people who have bought tickets to come to another country to join in the festivities. And I'm really looking forward to introducing them to my new circle of friends here.

Its easier for you perhaps

2008-02-19T16:33:00.003+05:00

I've noticed a common thread running through many of the replies I've had to my online dating profile. Men telling me to use Yahoo or MSN or whatever "because its easier" - easier for whom? Easier for them in fact, I have over the years used Yahoo and MSN and now I use Skype for family and friends and gchat for vitual contacts - because its easier for me and when the first contact is made and I'm being told to do something by someone I usually think, "no thanks".

Case in point - one of today's replies

"Dear Good Friend,

I'm in Australia now. I want to communicate with you more. If it is convenience, please contact me via Skype or MSN. We can talk face to face, which is much easier and efficient.

It will be my pleasure to communicate with you. Wish you can contact me in your convenience time.

MSN Name : XXXXX@hotmail.com
Skype Name : DXXXX
(Skype is very good for internet chat...internet face to face chat...please could you use the skype!
I have a Skype mobile phone, which is switched on 24 hours a day)

Wish you enjoy everyday. "

~sigh~ no thanks.

New shoes

2008-02-17T17:22:00.001+05:00

The One

2008-02-14T16:02:00.002+05:00

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I've been asked 4 times today if the man I've had only 2 dates with could be "The One", each time I have laughed out loud at the very idea.
If you've been trampled over and had your heart smushed into tiny pieces as many times as I have you will understand that there is a huge HUGE empty patch where 'hope' used to reside in my heart. I can't possible allow even a passing wondering thought into my mind that THIS ONE could be somehow different to the men who have lied and broken me in the past.
Does this mean I approach this new man with trepidation and fear? No not at all, it means that I go out and enjoy his company, I don't worry that it might mean something more or less that he's not contacted me for a couple of days other than he is really really busy at work.
I talk about him with a smile on my face, and yes I'm looking forward to seeing him again soon. BUT I'm not investing anything of myself in him at this point. This is new for me. Of course as its the first time I've actually dated anyone past the first date since my last lover was snatched from me by a stupid drunk driver over a year ago, I may just have forgotten how to get excited about men. ~sigh~ We shall see. Or not, as the case may be. I seem to have so very little influence on the outcome of any of my past relationships that this probably won't make any difference.

Keeping drivers employed

2008-02-08T13:22:00.000+05:00

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I just went to book a taxi for the airport at the reception. Happened to stand next to a lady (N) who also wanted a taxi for the airport for exactly the same flight. We've spoken a few times and know each other by name.

Mia: Oh I'm taking that flight, do you want to share a taxi.
N: Yes that works.
Lady at the desk: No you can't share a taxi.

Mia & N: Umm but we're friends on the same flight

Lady at the desk: But you want two taxis, thats 400 each. If just one then its cheaper price.

N: Yes, thats why we want to share.

Lady at the desk: But then one taxi won't have a ride.

Mia: If we flagged down a taxi on the street what would it cost us - about?

Lady: Maybe 500 or 600

N: And they would let us share?

Lady: Yes

N: Then that's what we do right Mia?

Mia: Works for me!

N: So cancel that booking, we will take one off the street, thanks.

********

2 hours later, the lady from the desk comes to find me and says

"Its ok, we can let you share the taxi, shall I book it for you?"
Mia: Yes thats good, thank you.

Being looked after

2008-02-07T15:57:00.000+05:00

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I have a little crush on my Dive Master*, he's been looking after me terribly well over the last 2 days and 1 night of dives. So well in fact that today when we were diving in low visibility he held my hand so I didn't get lost as we swam through a cave. Then he kept hold of my hand for the next 20 minutes or so when the visibility was just fine. On land he's a bit like an overgrown lab, but in the water he is as elegant** as a ray and just for that short time - it was very nice to be looked after, to feel safe and for once not to be the only person watching out for me.
I'm taking him out for supper to say thank you this evening.

*Of course it may just be the 'Master' thing . . .
** Compared to me, who when I needed to remove my weight belt under water, was probably as elegant as a baby hippo

Linkage

2008-02-06T13:20:00.000+05:00

Oh look thats my post - except strangely over there I'm called ashish

Ickyness

2008-02-04T15:18:00.000+05:00

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Yep, have arrived in the south of Thailand, first thoughts - gosh this island is so much more commercialised since I was last here (2 years ago) and almost unreconisable from when I was first here in 1999.
But the place I'm staying is still child free (hurrah) mostly non smoking in the restaurant (hurrah hurrah) and just as chilled as ever. The chilled watermelon juice present at reception was just as lush as I remembered and the coconut ice cream I had for supper even better.

Today I walked into town to check out what had changed - many things! There is even a McD here now which makes me sad, its probably the last time I'll come here, but to be honest its time I found another bolt-hole in Thailand.

Visit into town resulted in 2 icky observations, I went to a respectable looking place for a foot massage, it was respectable, but the Aussie man separated from me only by a flimsy curtain really did his best to talk his girl into giving him a 'happy ending', it really made me feel rather uncomfortable to listen to him offer her more and more money and try and sweet talk her into giving him a tug at the end of his hour massage. This conversation was going on just 3 ft from the bed I was on, and the girl was talking really quietly, he however was not, he was being extremely arrogant. I left before he did. My girl was great and was really rather embarrassed, kept turning the music up to cover the sound of oil on flesh slapping noises.
After that I stopped at a bar/restaurant for some early lunch (yes it was only 11am) and another westerner of a certain age came in, he sat nearby and invited the waitress to join him for something to eat, she declined, he tried to talk her into it, then spoke to the chief waiter and said "I'm looking for a girlfriend for a few days - will she come with me?". The waiter said no. The customer paid up his bill and left.
There are thousands of whores in this country who are willing to put up with the old, fat and disgusting white man pawing at them, why can't these men let the waitress etc go about her job without being made to feel for sale.
Still it was a very quick reminder of the white man's attitude here in Asia, the man who travels to Thailand alone doesn't stay alone for very long.

Now however I'm heading off to meet some friends for supper and drink a toast to those with some integrity in the world.

Tall men are great

2008-01-31T15:01:00.000+05:00

Two men both around 6ft tall, have volunteered to 'escort' me through a rather busy area tomorrow.

~sigh~

2008-01-30T15:21:00.000+05:00

I'm cold, the inside heating is non existant and there is no insulation. The walls are cement and the floors are wooden. There are lots and lots of windows.

So this evening I did something for the first time, I made myself a cup of hot chocolate. Up till this point I have always stood by the following statements.

I don't now nor have I ever liked milk*
I don't drink hot drinks.
I don't like the smell of warm milk

So obviously I've never drunk a hot chocolate, but when I was in the UK last summer I did notice that my niece was drinking things that looked more like dessert than a drink, they had cream and flakes and marshmallows in, but I was still not tempted. Till tonight.

But tonight I was cold and I spotted a packet of mini marshmallows. And I had some rather posh hot chocolate powder left over from Christmas. So now I've got something to wrap my hands around, and do you know what, its actually rather nice! Great just what I needed, a new vice!

*The ONE exception to that was a Tootsies** butterscotch milkshake with extra butterscotch - yummm
** Can't find the link at the moment, but I will!

A bundle of bloggers

2008-01-27T10:02:00.000+05:00

So next week I'm heading off to Thailand for some R&R followed by a work 'thing', all paid for by the new boss.
I'll be seeing my good friend Madame Chiang and also keeping an eye out for the 2 dodgy expats from Singapore.

Not the best of starts to a Sunday

2008-01-27T09:11:00.000+05:00

I lay in bed for too long this morning, my mind wandering into areas which were not helpful or productive. In fact I wandered into the area of 'what difference am I making in my world?" and the answer was none. From this I very quickly travelled down through the stages of sadness, futility and despair.
I moved into the 'when would be the best time to just disappear', my affairs are not really in order so it would be a hassle for those left to sort out admin if I left just now, but if I hang around for a few more weeks then my Baby Girl will be here and there is no way I'd want her to have to deal with the aftermath. So then if I plan for my demise after she has gone back to the UK, that would make more sense. But then again that could leave her with feelings of guilt that she left me when I so very much wanted to stay. ~sigh~ I can't do that too her.
So it looks like I'll stay around for a bit longer, unless I can find a cause worth dying for. If I could swap my health for my sister then I'd do it in an instant. I just don't seem to have a cause worth living for at the moment.

And then I got up, had a long hot shower, washed my hair, got dressed, had some breakfast and those thoughts moved just a little bit further to the back of my mind.
Note to self: Sometimes I think too much.

The one in the middle

2008-01-25T17:57:00.000+05:00

A few days ago I received an email from my elder sibling, it was addressed to my younger sib, his wife and myself, in it she told us some very upsetting news about her health. She wanted to make sure that we all knew at the same time. The sort of news that is hard to hear, the sort of news that is very hard to reply to. But (of course) I did, I replied with the 'so sorry to hear this', 'let me know if I can help' and 'I love you' lines and followed it up with a phone call to her today. We chatted for a long time about everything in her life, decisions she is having to make about her daughters future and what medical tests were going to be taken over the next week. She also said that neither my brother or his wife had replied to her email, and the she was "cut to the quick" that they didn't make even the smallest effort on hearing her news. We talked a while longer about different situations and family members and ended up saying goodbye reasonably happily.

Then I called my brother, we chatted for a while about this and that. Holidays, diving and moving home, just general news. Then I asked if he'd read his sisters email, he said that yes he had, but didn't know what to reply. I offered a few suggestions, to which he mumbled that yes he probably should. Then said he was just too busy to get online much these days. At this point I reminded him that thanks to Facebook news feed I knew how often he snatched a moment during his day to do a movie quiz, post some photos or send some pokes around and that he should spend 2 minutes sending a message of care to his sister.

Seriously I wonder how it is that I'm the only one in my family that takes the time and effort to make contact with anyone, is it that everyone else is married and therefore doesn't care about their blood family anymore? My siblings are 12 years apart in age and have very little in common with each other, and both of them seem to be happy to let each other drift away - yet I am so close to both of them and adore them with all my heart. And sometimes it really makes me sad that they don't share that love with each other - especially as they only live 2 hours drive from one another.

My Baby Girl

2008-01-23T17:36:00.000+05:00

My baby girl is leaving the UK for a few months, coming to visit me and we will be taking a little trip together around Asia.
I've spent the last few hours putting together some plans for our travels, we're both very excited and looking forward to being together again. But oh I wish she would hurry up and confirm her flight date leaving the UK, I know that if I book anything before she does then it will have to be changed.

On a scale of 1 to 10, having her with me will put me at about an 11.

As you can see from the photo, I taught her how to bake at a very early age, so it will be grand to have someone to play with in the kitchen.

Going home to Hong Kong

2008-01-20T15:19:00.000+05:00

This weekend I was in a city I made home, this weekend I was somewhere that was familiar, vibrant and exciting and even better I got to share the fantastic place with some great new friends.

It's really brought home to me how the new place I live is not yet somewhere I am confident in. There is the safety factor in Hong Kong, that at any time* I can make the decision to go home and walk only a few yards before finding a taxi which will take me safely and easily home.

There is the 'in the know' factor, that I can spin out a dozen places I'd LIKE to go and drink and eat in, depending on my mood and the tone of the evening.

I had a fantastic time this weekend, my friends have all said that they saw a different side to me, the exuberant confident woman that few have seen up till now during social situations.

But, and this is the biggest thing for me to remember, I do NOT regret leaving Hong Kong. It's a wonderful city, a place where I grew into a different person, a city I happily will return to many many more times in the future but now its time to move on.

On Saturday morning I woke up slowly, I flexed my ankles, my calves, taking an inventory of my body as I remembered the dancing in my knee high boots for 7 hours. Stretching out my toes and torso feeling all those wonderful muscles which moved me so gracefully** across the dance floor, on the bar, on the tables and in the street. My eyes opened - the first thing I saw was a very obviously not mine item of clothing strewn across the back of a chair. A very obviously item of clothing that belongs to a flirty Frenchman.

And then, after just a few seconds I remembered that at some point in the evening I had changed into his shirt*** because I was feeling too hot in the top I was wearing - on the dance floor. ~sigh~

Yes, much fun was had this weekend in Hong Kong. Hope yours was fun too.

* Say 4:22am perhaps

**perhaps!

*** very discreetly no doubt ~ahem~

Hurrah Hurrah

2008-01-17T14:17:00.000+05:00

I'm leaving the apartment at 8:00am and heading off to Hong Kong tomorrow, hip hip hurrah.
It's going to be quite odd because I'm travelling with a few new friends - showing them the high lights of my favourite city in the world. Far too much alcohol will be consumed and a bundle of laughs all wrapped up in some brand new memories.

Have a good weekend.

7

2008-01-14T19:41:00.000+05:00

Oh its been a long time since I was tagged - but here goes thanks to DGNY

I have to write 7 things I approve of.

Tactileness: Sometimes the only thing that makes a bad day bearable is warm arms wrapped around you.

Lush: Especially the jasmine scented lines, slipping into a deep bath filled with soft bubbles and gorgeous scent is a real treat.

Books: Curling up with a good book, one of my all time favourite past times.

Kitchens: In my dreams one day my kitchen will be the heart of the home, for now its somewhere that I can nurture friends and loved ones AND have heaps of fun!

Sci-fi: From Blakes 7 to Battlestar Gallactica and everything in between, I love Sci-fi!

Curly Wurlys (& many more types of chocolate): But it has to be British Cadburys.

Lingerie: Something soft, silky and utterly sexy which sometimes only you know about just makes a difference under those sensible work clothes. And if someone else knows, then all then even better.

So - who to tag, well here we go
James
Helen
and
Seven

Favourite lines from recent emails

2008-01-14T17:31:00.000+05:00

"You may have had sun but I had the Irish to party with."

"You just put a lovely big smile on my face and you are 1000s of miles away. Now that's something special"

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god! XXXXXXXXXX?! WAHHHHH! I literally can't believe you just casually dropped that into the conversation! Crikey me, I think I'm going to have to go and have a lie down before I even think about trying to reply to your email. I'm so excited!!!"

3 very different people replying to 3 very different emails, but oh I love them. ~sigh~

Expectations of honesty

2008-01-12T12:40:00.000+05:00

Peter and I had briefly dated back in London, his sister was a really good friend of mine and she did all she could to warn me off him - saying he was a total player and ran around misbehaving - but he wooed me, sent me V Day cards with poems hand written inside, was so tactile that I was never short of hugs and kisses, sent me plants (he knew I liked them more than flowers*) he persuaded me for quite a while until he caught me - then after a whirl wind romance for 4 months, we lots of great weekend away, we broke up. But I was ok about it, I had gone into the whole thing with my eyes open and was fully briefed by his sister. It all ended well enough that I was able to spend special celebrations with my friend and her family without any awkwardness. We did truly remain friends - as much for his sisters sake as our own.
Years later we had lost touch, I'd moved to Hong Kong and Peter had got married, had a 2 year old daughter and another baby due in 3 more months. This I only knew because his sister and I exchanged occasional emails.

I took a phone call one Thursday, it was Peter, calling from Heathrow airport - he and his wife and child were travelling to Australia - to live for a year - they both worked for an airline so were on standby tickets and had just been told they would have a flight via Hong Kong - was I going to be free for breakfast on Saturday morning? They would have 12 hours to pass at the airport and did I fancy coming to meet up?
I said yes, I went out to the airport and had breakfast with them, they had arrived late the night before and Peter's wife was 6 months pregnant, with a toddler and exhausted.
She went back to the hotel room for another nap after breakfast and Peter and I took the toddler to the playpark area. Peter told me that as far as his wife knew, I was just a friend of his and his sisters - it was in fact his sister who had mentioned me being in Hong Kong. I laughed and said that was fine by me, in fact I did think of myself as 'just a friend' rather than anything else towards him - and that was that. A few hours passed and we said goodbye - he headed back to the hotel to gather up all their luggage and head back to the check in desk. I walked away thinking how nicely things had worked out for them.

4 hours later I got a phone call from Peter. He said that there hadn't been enough standby tickets for the 3 of them, so he had sent his wife and toddler on to Australia and he would take the flight the next day. Could he crash at my place on the Saturday night. he'd been to HK before so he was happy doing his own thing.

He's a friend right? So I said yes but that I had a date lined up so he could crash at my place but that if he wanted to go out and about he'd be on his own - he was happy enough with that plan - after all he wanted to explore what HK had to offer to a single looking guy. (this should have been my warning flag #1) I gave him my address and he dropped off his bags, gave him a spare key and made up the spare room and was showered and ready for a night out long before my date showed up.
We went our separate ways, I had a fun night out with my date and Peter no doubt had a good night in Wanchai. I never heard him come in, but it was after me and that was about 3am, so I didn't rush to wake him too early. But when it got to about 10am and he hadn't surfaced I woke him as I knew he'd have to get out to the airport to get his next flight. He told me he'd phoned in** and there wasn't a flight for him then either so was it ok if he stayed another day.
He checked his messages to find one from his wife, she'd been diverted to another airport due to bad weather so had had to hire a car and drive herself and child and luggage (in the terrible weather) to the town where they had a rented house waiting for them - 7 hours drive away. This sounded awful for the poor woman, but Peter seemed in no hurry to join her. In fact he lounged around the apartment for ages before announcing that he was going to head out into Wanchai on Sunday afternoon. Apparently he'd been talking to some guys on Saturday night who told him all about the situation that is HK on a Sunday afternoon - a huge amount of young Filipino/Thai/Indonesian maids use their one day off a week to hang out at bars in the hopes of having some fun with their friends, and if they could pick up some paying western men for the afternoon then all the better. Anyone that's lived in HK for even a month knows that these part time prostitutes have a terrible life with their employers and this is their one ticket out of the drudgery they face week in and week out. The majority of the drinking and the pay for play goes on before 7pm as most of these ladies have to be back at their employers homes for curfew.

So off Peter went to Wanchai, I had invited him to join me at a brunch I was having with friends, but he wasn't interested. I got home about 3pm and was reading the sunday papers on the sofa when I heard his key in the door, I also heard giggling of the female kind.
He walked into my apartment with a bar girl he'd picked up. He brought a whore into my home to screw her. He was surprised to see me, but just said that he'd just come back for an hour or so and they would be gone again. I stood there for a second dumbfounded.
And then very calmly I told him that under no circumstances would he be setting one more foot into my home. He was to leave now and take his guest with him. I then walked into his room, grabbed his bag and handed it to him and told him that he was no longer welcome in my home.
He tried to argue the matter with me but I ignored him and asked the woman to leave - as she stood at the door putting her boots back on*** I asked her if she cared that he was a married man with children. I was of course wasting my breath - she just shrugged at me and said she didn't care - it was just money, not love so it was ok.
They left.
As they did my phone rang, it was my brother, he knew Peter quite well as they'd met on many occasions over the years and being the upright honest bloke that he is, he was just as disgusted with him as I was. When I said to my sib "why is this upsetting me so much" he came out with a very wise answer which I've never forgotten "Because if things had turned out differently between you and Peter, it could have been you that he was messing around on - and you have expectations of honesty from men that you care about" We talked for a while and he calmed me down, then I went to make myself some supper.
Then the doorbell rang, Peter was back. It had only been about 20 mins since he'd left so I pressume he just dropped her back in Wanchai then came home. He wasn't drunk - not that that is an excuse to screw around on your wife and children. I opened the door to him and he begged me to let him stay.
I've never spoken to anyone with such disgust in my voice as I did that evening, I told him that he could literally sleep here and that was that. I didn't want to speak to him or see him. He came in and went to hug me - I said the words that to someone like me who is the most tactile person I know I thought I'd never say - I said "don't touch me, you are vile" .
At this point he finally realised my white cold anger, my disgust at his behaviour, the sorrow I felt for his wife, the pain I felt due to his actions. He begged me literally on his knees not to tell his wife or his sister. I told him to get away from me. And he did. He sat and watched the TV for a few hours then went online and booked and paid for a flight out of Hong Kong.

The next day I took the morning off work, I didn't trust him in my apartment alone. He left at about 10am and he and I have never spoken or seen each other since.

And even after that rude awakeing, I still have expectations of honesty from men that I care about.

* not that I don't like getting flowers - I really do!
** later he admitted that he hadn't even bothered calling the airline.
*** Yes he'd had the consideration to get the whore to take her shoes off!

2nd time around

2008-01-06T09:58:00.000+05:00

Last week I tried out my first attempt at a new dessert.

Today I tweaked it a little more

3/4 cup of caster sugar
500g mascarpone cheese
3 tablespoons of Cointreau
6 tablespoons of orange juice
Small amount of chocolate

Beat together the cheese and sugar until thick and pale.
Add Cointreau and orange juice, beat again.
Fill small martini glasses (makes 6) & chill in the fridge for 2 hours.

Grate chocolate on top and serve with a small spoon

My Perfect Bath

2008-01-05T17:58:00.000+05:00

LTT illuminated bathtub

Updated for 2008

I thought I'd do my version of the perfect bath. Please note this is just how I do it and should not be considered definitive in anyway ~grin~

Preparation

Make sure there is enough hot water for your needs, in my case this involves putting on the water heater a full 15 mins ahead of water running time.
Have 1 large soft fluffy warm towel, 1 smaller soft fluffy towel, 1 large fluffy robe and 1 decent sized soft foot mat.
Bathroom warm.
Soft lighting, perhaps a few candles or just the light over the sink.
Music set up to play for at least 60 mins
Choice of Lush bath time products - current favorite are Turbo Bar and Fairy Jasmine
A book - my current bath time reading is Little Birds
Moisturiser bar - Fever.
Dusting powder - Silky Underwear

Method

Set water to run, what works best for me is running only the hot water for exactly 20 minutes, the hot actually runs out after 15 mins and is then topped up with cool water for the last 5.

Turn off water, light candles, turn on music, turn off all phones then drop in one Fairy Jasmine.

Tie long hair up softly on the top of your head, undress and step into a beautiful soft jasmine scented bath - with sparkles.

Turn on the hot tap (which by now has fully reheated) and crumble one half of a Turbo Bar under the water, let the bubbles grow and cover the surface of the bath and the water level rise just enough so that you can submerge your body up to the neck and enjoy the sensation of the delicious water.

Lay there for as long as you need to.

Reach for a book if you wish or just let your mind relax.

After perhaps a long while as the water begins to slightly cool, wash body carefully, making sure that all corners are taken care of.

Pull out the plug, letting the water drain away.

Turn on shower head and rinse any remanding soap or bubbles from your body.

Reach for large warm towel and wrap it around your body, step out of bath on to floor mat - then dry body, again making sure that all areas are carefully attended to.

Moisturise body thoroughly with the Fever bar and a dash of Silky Underwear

Wrap in fluffy robe and retire to the bedroom, leaving a gentle scent of jasmine behind you.

Night ..............

4 times by midnight

2008-01-05T17:42:00.000+05:00

At 4 different times today I've had the wonderful flush of being filled with joy and happiness. Honestly who could ask for anything more.

The mess

2008-01-04T22:40:00.000+05:00

Even though I only turned my TV on for 20 mins in the last 12 hours I've been unable to escape the madness that has happened in the Spears household.

A friend just sent me this YouTube link - seriously have the snap happy idiots (I hesitate to call them journalists) got a clue? It's Princess Diana all over again, who is going to have to die next as a result of their actions?

Gift in the spring time, pays off in the winter

2008-01-02T13:57:00.000+05:00

Last night I had a perfectly gorgeously warm snugly sleep. And its all thanks to Seven Seas.

Last year he gave me something that I thought was very thoughtful, last night I used it for the first time in my new apartment and it was perfect.

Realisation

2008-01-01T08:53:00.000+05:00

A few days ago I caught a documentary on TV about a group of people who suffer from Prosopagnosia. I half watched it* then thought no more about it till this morning.

This morning I lay in bed thinking about where 2007 has taken me and about the new people in my life and it suddenly dawned on me that I have a problem. I couldn't remember what any of my new friends look like.

I don't have Prosopagnosia = Face blindness, as described here

But what I do have is an inability to visualise faces when they are not in front of me, I recognise people when I meet them, I recognise them in photos, I'm good with names and I usually remember who is who. BUT if I try to visualise someone's face I can't do it.

This morning I tested myself.

My parents, my siblings, lovers and colleagues from my past - they are all just shapes.

I can tell you that my brother is about 5ft 8 - because this is a fact that I've been told, that he is a lot slimmer than he used to be - because we've had conversations about weight loss and he has dark brown hair but as to what his face looks like - I can't say. As I type this I glance over my desk to a photograph of the 2 of us together and I smile at my darling brother.

I know which of my past lovers had facial hair, long, short or shaved heads, which were tall enough to envelope me in their arms and which were not. But without looking at past photos I struggle to visualise their faces - apart from 2.

1) He gave me a pencil line drawing he'd had done of himself, the picture was framed and hung on my wall for over 2 years. I can 'see' that drawing when I think of him.

2) The man who for 5 years held my heart in his grasp while he toyed and played with me. I can 'see' his face in a certain photo taken at my birthday party.

Then I started to try and remember the people I have worked with over the last few years, the people who I have spent hours and hours with. I know what colour hair they have, the styles they wear and their height. But again I can't 'see' their faces.

So I thought about my new colleagues and friends, again I can see their hair colour, styles and height, but can't see their faces - its as if they are just visible out of the corner of my eye, yet when I turn and look straight at them there is nothing there.

But the scariest moment of all came when I tried to visualise my own face. Yes I know I've got green eyes, I've got freckles and long curly hair. But I can't see my own face. I jumped out of bed and ran to the mirror.

So I've spent the first half of the first day of 2008 looking up different information** on the web, whilst its scary actually facing (ho ho) up to this its also a bit of a relief to realise I'm not the only person who struggles from this sort of thing. I'm lucky that I know who people are when I see them and this doesn't affect my day to day life.

What I do find interesting is that I've lived my whole life without realising I had this 'thing' going on, I wonder if I've always been this way? I wonder if this is the reason I have surrounded myself with photos of loved ones. I wonder if I can tell people in the real world.

*I was preparing dinner for 12 at the time.
** One point was that people with this 'thing' often don't bother wearing make up - after all why bother when its something we don't pay much attention too. Thats me!

X man appreciation

2007-12-31T21:45:00.000+05:00

Whilst I have to admit that Huge Jackman has rather an impressive set of arms*, surely if you were going to blow off** some of his clothes you'd not leave him with his trousers on!

How did you spend New Year's Eve 2007?
I curled up with the X-Men Trilogy - seriously one of the yummiest evenings I've had in a while.
Partly because Hugh has that whole 'Young Clint Eastwood' thing going on.

Happy New Year all.

* A well documented favourite of mine
** Yes yes, its not just his clothes I'd blow

Wandering thoughts

2007-12-30T11:57:00.000+05:00

Sometimes I don't like where my wandering thoughts take me.

I can't die today, I haven't updated my will recently

If this new lump turns out to be cancer, I'll probably just suck it up and die, rather than fight it.

If I died, I wonder if my brother would mention it on facebook.

Perhaps I should give my brother my log in details for facebook in my will,
then he could change my status to dead.

Movie afternoon

2007-12-29T13:57:00.000+05:00

Have just caught one of my all time favourite musicals . . .

Seven brides for seven brothers

And I only caught that because I'd turned on the TV for The Chronicles of Narnia which was one of my favourite books as a child.

Nicely done.

Blonde

2007-12-28T23:57:00.000+05:00

I had a few friends over for drinks and nibbly bits this evening. Spent a little while flirting (whilst tipsy so it doesn't really count) with a lovely young man. I've just realised he is the first blonde man I've found attractive for a very long time. Hmmm or maybe its just that he's the first single man to flirt with me in a very long time so therefore it doesn't matter what colour his hair is. But then again have I ever knocked a man back for having the wrong colour hair? Nope I haven't. I've been turned off by men with facial fungus though. And I'm a big fan of a short short hair cut. But seriously I can't think of anyone I've fancied in YEARS that had blonde hair. Grey hair doesn't count obviously. OK, why am I rambling here instead of getting that large glass of water and heading off to bed? Why? Because.

Night.

Just one line

2007-12-28T11:24:00.000+05:00

So after a week or so break from the whole online dating lark I thought I'd check in and see if I'd had any replies to my ad.
In fact I had 14 replies.

6 of them consisted of just single lines

"hey how you doing?"
"im fred whas youre name"
"do you wana suck on my hard cock?"
"whats your job?"
"I'm not your average guy"
"is 23 too young for you?"

Although I'm not expecting an epic novel from anyone making first contact, surely it's not too much to ask for to get more than a single line.
But that got me thinking, what one line would deserve a reply?

Taking time

2007-12-26T13:43:00.001+05:00

I've discovered something in myself these past few weeks.
If I share myself with someone, and he or she then moves away from me I am not able to resume our level of confidant very easily. I'm not talking (just) about sexual intimacy but the intimacy of late night conversations where my barriers have been broken down and hopes, dreams and feelings are carefully slid out into the light to be examined.

What would I have liked for Christmas this year? In fact what do I want out of life?
Someone to want to spend time with me. Someone to care.

Christmas Day thoughts

2007-12-25T07:32:00.000+05:00

Christmas tree ornaments seem to be the gift of choice this year. Among the piles of Lush (yummm) bubble bars and chocolate I've gained some decorations.

I've got a cute white and blue Dresden snowman from Amsterdam

2 green glass trees from Hong Kong

1 ornate gold & purple enamelled bauble from Vietnam

and a silver star from the UK

Yes they are all very pretty, and they will look splendid on my tree for the next few days.

**************

I'm battling with myself, not to back out of the plans for the day. Do I really want to spend the day with a friends family? Wouldn't it be easier to just stay home and ignore the day? In the past I've actually taken down my Christmas tree on the 25th, because I was 'over' the whole festive season. This year I can't do that, mostly because I've got friends coming for drinks on the 26th.

***************

Being single sucks.

************

I've made a glorious brandy pie that is sitting in my fridge right now, I'm taking it to share with friends for Christmas dinner. It is quite possibly the most calorific dish I could make, but darn its good.

********************

There are people I wish I could talk to, and wish seasons greetings too, but they are out of reach. They are busy with their own lives, in which I am only a minor player.

********

Thats not chocolate

2007-12-24T11:44:00.000+05:00

I decided it was time to have a hair cut. I also decided to have some colour added.
I asked for chocolate brown, which was my natural colour before I moved to Asia and had the bright sun on my hair every day caused my hair to become lighter.

My hair is now black. I'm not so impressed.

First Date

2007-12-24T06:15:00.000+05:00

I'm not a Princess, really I'm not. But on a first date I can't help but be a tad surprised to hear my date tell me of the "really cheap" place he suggests to take me for lunch. And when I say really cheap I mean the type of place that prides its self on having 2 pieces of mystery meat for 10p plus noodles. Instead we found a Japanese restaurant which was cheap and cheerful, all bright lights and plastic tables with a conveyor belt of sushi. The food was fine, the company at times amusing but no sparks were shown, not just because of the bright lights.
He was considerably older than he had let me to believe online, either that or he had led a very hard life.
After our lunch he asked "do you want to wander around the shopping mall for a while". My reply was no thanks, and that I'd be heading off to find a taxi home. To his credit he did actually dash out into the road to flag down a taxi for me, he seems like a nice enough man. He also followed up the date with a text a few hours later telling me he had had a good time meeting me.
But no, I don't see a second date in our future.

Strength

2007-12-23T07:53:00.000+05:00

I woke up this morning with a strange feeling.
I lay there for a while trying to pin it down.
It is fear.

It would be so much easier to stay home and not face up to what might end up in tears.

I don't feel strong today.

Delicate Flower

2007-11-18T16:28:00.000+05:00

I am SUCH a delicate flower its ridiculous.
There I was tootling along with a smile on my face, loving my new job, revelling in how well I was coping with 'stuff'. Then I get tripped up by my own sensitivity. Ok so the next day it was all fine, in fact 2 different actions by my boss made me realise that to him it was only a minor blip, yet to me it was huge.
Seriously, I need to toughen up!

~Thud~

2007-11-14T15:21:00.000+05:00

That was the sound of my stomach dropping a few inches when today it was found out I was a fraud.

One of my biggest faults became obvious and I'm not sure how I will handle things tomorrow.

~sigh~

Just to prove its still active

2007-11-05T16:05:00.000+05:00

Still here . . . .

The Norm

2007-10-07T09:42:00.000+05:00

I was hanging some photos just now, I have one set of old school/college friends/flatmates from my London days. Looking at these photos made me smile, remembering the fun and frolics of my youth. However I also realised that out of 16 people, I am the only one without a child*, so this makes me the exception to the norm. How does this make me feel?

Actually it doesn't make me feel anything at the moment, it was just an observation on a social group which all came from different places but have ended up with a common goal.

The being childless is something I'm coping well with these days, I find that occasionally spending time in the homes of those with young children to be an excellent reminder that its not all warm glows and cuddles. Those early morning negotiations just to get a bowl of cereal down a 2 year old before heading off to work are not necessarily fun times. The impulsive, lets go out for dinner or catch a movie also have to be factored around babysitting issues. Never mind the sleep in till 10am on a Sunday morning, then go for a long brunch with the papers. **
In fact I'm almost 50/50 on the whole 'do I want children?' issue - which coming from a 99.9% place is rather healthy!

But what I am finding interesting is that where I used to live and work I was the exception to the norm in that I didn't have children, in my current location and position we are the absolute majority, in fact out of 35 people that I work and socialise with, only 1 person is a parent. And for many people its an active choice to be childless, much talk of 'snips' has gone on between the menfolk.

Clearly this is helpful to my feelings of belonging, worries about being the odd one out and healthy in dealing with my 'I have failed' issues.

So instead I'm becoming more and more comfortable in the role of beloved aunt, godmother, cake baker and story reader. And so to those 15 friends from years past I send my love and best wishes, and will enjoy the photos and the stories of their children growing up without this causing me pain.

*even the 2 gay men have got children.

** Yes Yes, I know being a parent is a wonderful gift, but I'm working hard on seeing the positives of not being one.

Lemonheads

2007-10-05T05:49:00.000+05:00

My all time favourite blogger Helen is now a Mommy.

Congratulations.

Boobies

2007-10-02T05:41:00.000+05:00

It's time for the annual Boobiethon

Home page is work safe, be careful where you go next but its all in a good cause! If you like boobies or even have a pair of your own have a look, make a donation and even better submit a photo of your own. And yes I ~~will be submitting~~ have submitted my boobies. Just like I have for the last few years.

How about you?

Life stuff

2007-08-27T15:48:00.000+05:00

Not sure that anyone is dropping by anymore, but I'm a little bit busy finding my direction in my new life at the moment.
All is fine, this time no one has died and/or broken my heart. I'm just a bit busy.

x

p.s. You could find me at Memento Mori from time to time though.

Quick list

2007-08-10T03:53:00.000+05:00

Knee still sore and stiff, but not slowing me down anymore.

Tummy reallllly sore due to this.

Think I might be getting addicted to Night Nurse cough syrup, I'm sleeping very well on it!

Today I had NO spam in my inbox at all.

All in all things are going well.

Ouchy

2007-08-06T04:54:00.000+05:00

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I tripped over* and smashed my knee against a stone step at 10 o'clock this morning. Sat down and tried not to cry for a little while then carried on with the days plan (boating). By the time I got home it has swollen so much I can hardly bend it. So am just about to go to sleep with a fresh bag of frozen peas strapped up to it.

How was your day?

* was totally sober at the time!

It has come to this

2007-08-03T13:03:00.001+05:00

Today, for the first time in memory, I can't wear a matching set of lingerie. Just my luck I'll get run over by a bus today!

Favourite Post of The Day

2007-08-03T02:53:00.000+05:00

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Driver has some insightful words.

Highlights of Summer 2007

2007-08-03T02:15:00.000+05:00

This summer my cup of love filled to over flowing from those people in my life who love me, I'll post on those matters at a later time.

*********

I also took delight in many other places, here are just a few.

*******

The sound of wind in the trees.

The stunning wildflowers in the hedgerows.

Baking a very special birthday cake for a very special birthday Princess.

Picnics among the heather.

*******

Someone knowing me well enough to write a list for me,
that included all my favourite treats.

*******

A great hair cut with lots of curls

A bubble bath on a warm summers evening,

with the windows open looking out on to the harbour.

Pink bits

2007-08-02T22:16:00.001+05:00

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I just spent the afternoon at this beautiful spot, had a yummy picnic and got lost in a book. Got so lost that I now have pink bits at the back of my knees - hmmm this could make driving a little uncomfortable tomorrow. Ah well, it still was a beautiful day.

Plenty of Knobs in Dorset

2007-08-02T00:23:00.001+05:00

Catching Up

2007-08-01T22:51:00.000+05:00

I've just spent the last couple of hours flicking through my Google Reader, turning at first to the section marked 'Top of the Pile', those of course are the blogs whose entries I read no matter what the subject - 'tis a small yet select listing. And I was very happy to see that one of my furry creatures is back again, Welcome Back Wombat. Also pleased to see that my favourite Dad seems to be back on full posting form - RP, and a few worrying posts from my #1 favourite blogger Helen.

Oh its nice to be back online!

Some photos

2007-08-01T21:28:00.000+05:00

Old enough to be . . . .

2007-07-07T23:34:00.000+05:00

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It's late, I'm a little tipsy but . . . I've just got home from having dinner with a young* man who was the most amusing, attentive, interesting dinner companion I've enjoyed in quite some time. Sitting outside the restaurant over looking the Thames the evening just sped past. Tonight will go down as one of my favourite nights so far on this trip. Quite unexpectedly.

*yes, really rather young

A few things I don’t economise on . . .

2007-07-07T20:23:00.000+05:00

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Dentist
Lingerie
Ice cream
Moving companies
Egyptian cotton bed sheets

Packers

2007-07-07T02:52:00.000+05:00

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30th June

Like a swarm of bees, an army of ants or a well choreographed troop of dancers the packers move about my apartment, there is no role for me in this play so I retreat to a window seat and keep out of their way. All I hear is the screech of tape being pulled again and again, occasional voices in quiet conversation and laughter. Only three times in 3 hours do they approach me, the first time to let me know that the phone company have arrived to cut off my internet connection, the second to show me a wallet* they have found behind some shelves and the third time to let me know they are going for their lunch break.

As they close the door behind them I ~sigh~, I look around the ordered chaos and enjoy the silence. I wander from room to room and back again, after weeks of frantic running around today there is nothing I can do but to sit back and let things happen as I’ve arranged.
I decide to make a call, I look for my landline phone, its hidden behind a maze of boxes, I call myself from my mobile so that I know which boxes to move. I find the phone and sit down in the corner beside it to make a call. I call my best friend, she hears my voice and knows that I’m feeling a little wobbly, she says the right things, she reminds me that I’m making the right move for many many reasons, she calms me. I go to the fridge and pull out the chicken salad I’d made myself last night, I sit and eat on the floor, surrounded by all these material possessions I have ‘burdened’ myself with over the last decade and beyond. I feel better with some food inside me. My mobile clicks with a new message received, it’s someone elses news, I laugh out loud as I read the texts that follow, enjoying the distraction.
There is a knock on the door, the packers return exactly 59 mins since they left, they start work straight away. One walks into my bedroom and starts to dismantle my bed. As he does so I think of the 3 men that I’ve known intimately in that bed, the one that I tried so/too hard to make a future with, the one that broke my heart, and the one that was taken from me by a drunk driver before we had even begun to really know each other. I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep easier in my new home, without being ‘haunted’ by thoughts of the past.

Later ……….

Now I’ve discovered that the screech of tape becomes uncomfortable to hear after 4 hours. I literally cringe now every other minute as they make up new boxes and fasten them down. They want to pack up my bedroom now, so I move to another room, I follow a small maze through the packing boxes and roll of corrugated cardboard to get to another small corner in my sitting room. As I look outside I see the rain pouring down, it’s going to be another wet weekend as Hong Kong celebrates its 10 years back under the control of the mainland.

Later still . . . .

Many boxes later their job is done. And so am I. Time to head for a shower, then a cold drink in a hot bar.

*A wallet that contains a large amount of UK cash, my UK driving license and my Boots reward card! Nice!!

Observations after my first few days in London

2007-07-05T17:15:00.000+05:00

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There are a LOT of good looking men in London . . . . . . a LOT, its been a bit of a drool fest to be honest.

There are many new kinds of chocolate that I just didn't know existed!

Hail hurts when wearing a little sundress when coming home from watching Wimbledon tennis - yes there was a hail storm in July!

Buying a whole new outfit for a special occasion starts out as fun, and if you 'find' the perfect outfit within 3 hours then it remains fun, any time after that without sucess and its dull.

It's a little scary when someone in Thailand sends you a text saying "You've just turned your phone on"

Right, I'm off then

2007-06-29T17:14:00.000+05:00

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Off on tour in Europe for 6 weeks, posting will be as and when the mood suits me, hmm pretty much like usual really then ~grin~

Take care, have a great summer/winter depending on your hemisphere!

First purchase, a pair of wellies I think!

A bit of linkage before I go

2007-06-28T13:04:00.000+05:00

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Comment left by a reader most likely to make me snort juice out of my nose

"i argued that hk has more to offer in terms of museums, architecture, public parks, shops- though he said london has more to offer. maybe its because im disillusioned with london and bored with this city-it is one of the most depressing cities."

Seen in the comments at Ten Things I Hate About Hong Kong

Seriously! You can stand on almost any street in South Kensington and see more museums than in the whole of Hong Kong.

"somewhere there was a mention of Cherie Blair" by Madame Chiang made me smile, although she and I seem to be bidding for the 'most stressed out by incompetence of others around us' award at the moment, she is always amusing, where as I just sound as though I'm whinging.

frus·tra·tion

2007-06-24T13:17:00.000+05:00

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After working on a project on and off for about 3 months I set off to complete it today, and was foiled by the concept that Hong Kong doesn't have postcodes. I fear that chocolate is the only answer on how to deal with the frustration I am feeling right now.

frus·tra·tion [fruh-strey-shuhn]

1.	act of frustrating; state of being frustrated: the frustration of the president's efforts.

2.	an instance of being frustrated: to experience a series of frustrations before completing a project.

3.	something that frustrates, as an unresolved problem.

4.	a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.

Winding down

2007-06-21T17:08:00.000+05:00

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This time next week I'll be on tour. Posting may be light while I am away, yes even lighter than the last few weeks, but then again now I've got my macbook to play with the chances are higher that I'll be putting my day to day rambles down in some form or other.

You could always check in at Memento Mori if you miss me*, but I do plan to come back.

*ok so I know that's a stretch!

First

2007-06-18T14:36:00.000+05:00

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I've just taken off an outfit that I used to love, but perhaps its better suited to someone a little younger than I am. This is a first for me. Or maybe its just not suitable for the occasion tonight.

~sigh~

I'm still wearing my strappy high heels though, I'm not dead yet!!

Spinning

2007-06-17T07:43:00.000+05:00

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Going through a bit of a blank at the moment, have so much to do my wheels are spinning. Am shuffling plans around from A to B trying to come up with an answer.

*************

Sorting through drawers yesterday I came across a photo of someone which made me flinch, I thought I'd got rid of such reminders some time ago - but this one, this just somehow just laid there in wait for me. I only flinched for a moment before tossing it in the rubbish pile.

*******

Today I'm meeting 4 different men for 4 different reasons.

*******

I'm getting used to using my macbook, although I probably never realised how many shortcuts I used which I now have to relearn.

**********

I'm craving ginger.

Help

2007-06-13T12:27:00.000+05:00

My blogger/google page has turned chinese ..... any one know how to change it back?

Update 30 secs later ........ ok so NOW its ok again, must have been those noodles I ate at lunch.

Champagne? Oh I don't mind if I do!

2007-06-12T21:37:00.000+05:00

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Seems I'm making a bit of a habit of this........

Fantastic nigth though.

~hic~

I broke it

2007-06-11T18:39:00.000+05:00

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I just broke my gmail.

Probably the worse time to do so as well. Am expecting a couple of emails that I have to reply to asap.

~sigh~

A day to snuggle up on the sofa

2007-06-10T08:57:00.000+05:00

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It's raining here, hard.
But that's ok because I've got oodles of things I should be doing around the flat. However as its such a horrible day I'm going to curl up on the sofa with a few books and pretend that everything isn't crowding in on me. I'm getting a little overwhelmed by my 'to do' list.

Favourite quote of the day

2007-06-09T06:44:00.000+05:00

Madame Chiang : you would have been a crap Marie Antoinette!!!

Friday lunch drinks

2007-06-08T17:47:00.000+05:00

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It;s 8.47pm and I've just got home from lunch.

That was funb.

Nearly naked

2007-06-06T13:42:00.000+05:00

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In my haste to get organised and pack up my apartment ahead of my move, I've misjudged the contents of my wardrobe. This morning it was a litttttttle tricky finding a suitable outfit for work, everything seems to be either packed, in need of ironing* or in the laundry basket.
Hmmmm things can only get worse.

*A little tricky as I have sold my iron, I never used it much anyway.

Chocolate, Lingerie & Bubbles

Bells and Whistles

Chocolate

A year later.........

Blue skies

And more.....

Leaving on a jet plane.....

Top Tips

Being brave

One step closer

Excitment

A new quality of life

Its a plan then!

The summer and beyond

I sat on a rock and looked at this view while I had lunch today

Happy Canada Day

On Tour

Cocktails and 3 legged races

In my inbox today

93 minutes

I am fabulous

Nice

I'm back ...........

Living life

03:35

Alibi

What's Lemonel?

Stuff I learnt from TV

7/7

The cold fairy visit

Conversation with aging parents

So much to say, no words to explain

~sigh~

Its easier for you perhaps

New shoes

The One

Keeping drivers employed

Being looked after

Linkage

Blogroll pout

Ickyness

Tall men are great

~sigh~

A bundle of bloggers

Not the best of starts to a Sunday

The one in the middle

My Baby Girl

Going home to Hong Kong

Hurrah Hurrah

7

Favourite lines from recent emails

Expectations of honesty

2nd time around

My Perfect Bath

LTT illuminated bathtub

4 times by midnight

The mess

Gift in the spring time, pays off in the winter

Realisation

X man appreciation

Wandering thoughts

Movie afternoon

Blonde

Just one line

Taking time

Christmas Day thoughts

Thats not chocolate

First Date

Strength

Delicate Flower

~Thud~

Just to prove its still active

The Norm

Lemonheads

Boobies

Life stuff

Quick list

Ouchy

It has come to this

Favourite Post of The Day