~sigh~

I've been arranging a bit of a gathering for a while now.
Out of an original 23 who said they would be able to attend its down to FOUR!!
Plus 3 still undecided.

We're only a couple of weeks away from the event and its making me a little sad. So instead of counting the people who are not coming I'm trying realllllly hard to be excited about the 4 who are, and still holding out hope that the 3 undecided will make their decision in my favour soon.

~sigh~

I've already had to re write my menu plan and cancel accommodation.

Edit: Just to clarify and to put straight the person who has submitted comments laughing at me for only having 4 people in my life. The 23 I mentioned are those who were flying in from other countries for the party. As it stands now, there are nine people who have bought tickets to come to another country to join in the festivities. And I'm really looking forward to introducing them to my new circle of friends here.

Not the best of starts to a Sunday

I lay in bed for too long this morning, my mind wandering into areas which were not helpful or productive. In fact I wandered into the area of 'what difference am I making in my world?" and the answer was none. From this I very quickly travelled down through the stages of sadness, futility and despair.
I moved into the 'when would be the best time to just disappear', my affairs are not really in order so it would be a hassle for those left to sort out admin if I left just now, but if I hang around for a few more weeks then my Baby Girl will be here and there is no way I'd want her to have to deal with the aftermath. So then if I plan for my demise after she has gone back to the UK, that would make more sense. But then again that could leave her with feelings of guilt that she left me when I so very much wanted to stay. ~sigh~ I can't do that too her.
So it looks like I'll stay around for a bit longer, unless I can find a cause worth dying for. If I could swap my health for my sister then I'd do it in an instant. I just don't seem to have a cause worth living for at the moment.

And then I got up, had a long hot shower, washed my hair, got dressed, had some breakfast and those thoughts moved just a little bit further to the back of my mind.
Note to self: Sometimes I think too much.

My Baby Girl

My baby girl is leaving the UK for a few months, coming to visit me and we will be taking a little trip together around Asia.
I've spent the last few hours putting together some plans for our travels, we're both very excited and looking forward to being together again. But oh I wish she would hurry up and confirm her flight date leaving the UK, I know that if I book anything before she does then it will have to be changed.

On a scale of 1 to 10, having her with me will put me at about an 11.

As you can see from the photo, I taught her how to bake at a very early age, so it will be grand to have someone to play with in the kitchen.

I'd love to

.
I just had a phone call from the mother of my children, ok so she's the mother of the children who are the closest thing I've got to having my own children. Anyway.......

In a couple of months there are going to be some rather significant birthdays being celebrated by my babies, and I want to be there, I'm going to be there. I confirmed my flight a few weeks ago and now the date for the party has been sent - 3 days after I arrive at their house.
Apparently last night over the dining table a discussion arouse about the band being booked, the caterers, the invitations and of course the alcohol that would be needed for this rather large event. Then someone mentioned cake, to which #1 CTIGTHMOC* said "Do you think that Mia would make it for us?" #2 CTIGTHMOC joined in with "Of course she will!"

Then the photo album came out and they looked at past cakes I've made for them, there was the princess castle - yes lots of pink! The Batman cake (that black food colouring took days to come off my fingers), the bowling alley with balls, Hickory Dickory Dock, the pirates treasure chest, the yellow duck, the racing car, the swimming pool, guitar, the football pitch, the rabbit, the piano, the cat, the ballerina, the volcano and many many more.

Of course I will, I'd love to.

*CTIGTHMOC = closest thing I've got to having my own children