Monday, December 31, 2007

X man appreciation

Whilst I have to admit that Huge Jackman has rather an impressive set of arms*, surely if you were going to blow off** some of his clothes you'd not leave him with his trousers on!

How did you spend New Year's Eve 2007?
I curled up with the X-Men Trilogy - seriously one of the yummiest evenings I've had in a while.
Partly because Hugh has that whole 'Young Clint Eastwood' thing going on.

Happy New Year all.

* A well documented favourite of mine
** Yes yes, its not just his clothes I'd blow

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Wandering thoughts

Sometimes I don't like where my wandering thoughts take me.

I can't die today, I haven't updated my will recently

If this new lump turns out to be cancer, I'll probably just suck it up and die, rather than fight it.

If I died, I wonder if my brother would mention it on facebook.

Perhaps I should give my brother my log in details for facebook in my will,
then he could change my status to dead.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Movie afternoon

Have just caught one of my all time favourite musicals . . .

Seven brides for seven brothers

And I only caught that because I'd turned on the TV for The Chronicles of Narnia which was one of my favourite books as a child.

Nicely done.

Friday, December 28, 2007


I had a few friends over for drinks and nibbly bits this evening. Spent a little while flirting (whilst tipsy so it doesn't really count) with a lovely young man. I've just realised he is the first blonde man I've found attractive for a very long time. Hmmm or maybe its just that he's the first single man to flirt with me in a very long time so therefore it doesn't matter what colour his hair is. But then again have I ever knocked a man back for having the wrong colour hair? Nope I haven't. I've been turned off by men with facial fungus though. And I'm a big fan of a short short hair cut. But seriously I can't think of anyone I've fancied in YEARS that had blonde hair. Grey hair doesn't count obviously. OK, why am I rambling here instead of getting that large glass of water and heading off to bed? Why? Because.


Just one line

So after a week or so break from the whole online dating lark I thought I'd check in and see if I'd had any replies to my ad.
In fact I had 14 replies.

6 of them consisted of just single lines

  1. "hey how you doing?"
  2. "im fred whas youre name"
  3. "do you wana suck on my hard cock?"
  4. "whats your job?"
  5. "I'm not your average guy"
  6. "is 23 too young for you?"
Although I'm not expecting an epic novel from anyone making first contact, surely it's not too much to ask for to get more than a single line.
But that got me thinking, what one line would deserve a reply?

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Taking time

I've discovered something in myself these past few weeks.
If I share myself with someone, and he or she then moves away from me I am not able to resume our level of confidant very easily. I'm not talking (just) about sexual intimacy but the intimacy of late night conversations where my barriers have been broken down and hopes, dreams and feelings are carefully slid out into the light to be examined.

What would I have liked for Christmas this year? In fact what do I want out of life?
Someone to want to spend time with me. Someone to care.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Christmas Day thoughts

Christmas tree ornaments seem to be the gift of choice this year. Among the piles of Lush (yummm) bubble bars and chocolate I've gained some decorations.

I've got a cute white and blue Dresden snowman from Amsterdam

2 green glass trees from Hong Kong

1 ornate gold & purple enamelled bauble from Vietnam

and a silver star from the UK

Yes they are all very pretty, and they will look splendid on my tree for the next few days.


I'm battling with myself, not to back out of the plans for the day. Do I really want to spend the day with a friends family? Wouldn't it be easier to just stay home and ignore the day? In the past I've actually taken down my Christmas tree on the 25th, because I was 'over' the whole festive season. This year I can't do that, mostly because I've got friends coming for drinks on the 26th.


Being single sucks.


I've made a glorious brandy pie that is sitting in my fridge right now, I'm taking it to share with friends for Christmas dinner. It is quite possibly the most calorific dish I could make, but darn its good.


There are people I wish I could talk to, and wish seasons greetings too, but they are out of reach. They are busy with their own lives, in which I am only a minor player.


Monday, December 24, 2007

Thats not chocolate

I decided it was time to have a hair cut. I also decided to have some colour added.
I asked for chocolate brown, which was my natural colour before I moved to Asia and had the bright sun on my hair every day caused my hair to become lighter.

My hair is now black. I'm not so impressed.

First Date

I'm not a Princess, really I'm not. But on a first date I can't help but be a tad surprised to hear my date tell me of the "really cheap" place he suggests to take me for lunch. And when I say really cheap I mean the type of place that prides its self on having 2 pieces of mystery meat for 10p plus noodles. Instead we found a Japanese restaurant which was cheap and cheerful, all bright lights and plastic tables with a conveyor belt of sushi. The food was fine, the company at times amusing but no sparks were shown, not just because of the bright lights.
He was considerably older than he had let me to believe online, either that or he had led a very hard life.
After our lunch he asked "do you want to wander around the shopping mall for a while". My reply was no thanks, and that I'd be heading off to find a taxi home. To his credit he did actually dash out into the road to flag down a taxi for me, he seems like a nice enough man. He also followed up the date with a text a few hours later telling me he had had a good time meeting me.
But no, I don't see a second date in our future.

Sunday, December 23, 2007


I woke up this morning with a strange feeling.
I lay there for a while trying to pin it down.
It is fear.

It would be so much easier to stay home and not face up to what might end up in tears.

I don't feel strong today.