Monday, November 17, 2008

Its a plan then!

From my mother (grumble)

"Your sister has told us we have to go for dinner at some country hotel for your father's birthday, I don't know what all the fuss is about!"

Right, full steam ahead!

Have also just spoken to my parents oldest friends who are happy and eager to drive 300 miles to attend the surprise Sunday lunch.

Flight booked and paid for - check
Guest invitations sent out - check
Hotel rooms booked - check
Guest of honour attendance secured - check

All this total makes up for the rubbish day at work I had - not helped by me sleeping through the alarm for the first time in a veryyyy veryyyyy long time!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The summer and beyond

Summer 2008 was wonderful, in too many ways to try to recap. But now the fresh memories are fading and its time to have some more wonderful layers added.


In four weeks I'm heading to one of my favourite cities in one of my favourite countries to spend some time with my all time favourite friend. And oh I'm excited. There will be sunshine and laughter and love. And visits to Lush


This last week I've been surprised by the kindness of colleagues and overwhelmed by the care of friends. And parental issues have been raised to the foreground again. Mostly because friends can't believe the levels of effort I'm going through organising a surprise 70th birthday party for my father in January. Just because some of my family are rubbish doesn't mean that the rest are.

I've booked 5 rooms for family at a lovely little Coaching Inn for all, put down a deposit for a Saturday night dinner for 9 of us. And thanks to the wonders of facebook have been able to track down my fathers cousins who along with friends, in laws and siblings are going to turn up for a surprise Sunday lunch. I've got a flight back to the UK thats not going to cost more than a months salary and booked time of work. The ONLY thing my sibling has to do is to tell my parents she is taking them to dinner at the Inn on his birthday so they don't make other plans.


Thanks to the best geek hero in my life I have also been able to catch the latest episodes of Emmerdale - clearly life is good!

And I'm weighing up the options of downsizing all my worldly belongings to leave me free to just jump freely to a new country in the next six months. Which raises the questions, even if I scan in all my old photos from pre digital era what to do with the originals?


Sunday, July 06, 2008

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Happy Canada Day

Sunday, June 29, 2008

On Tour

I'm away .......

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Cocktails and 3 legged races

I've just had the most wonderful 12 hours sleep. It seems that if you spend the afternoon celebrating the end of a project by drinking cocktails, having 3 legged races and eating lamb chops you will sleep really really well when you get home at 7pm.

Right, now to start packing. 1 more sleep and I'm off On Tour.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

In my inbox today

Dear Mia,

Good news in the paper today—berries are late due to cool weather! The picking season is just starting, so you may get lucky. Weather is exceptionally fine today—blue skies and 20°C. All-in-all, it looks like we’re preparing for your visit.

Hope all is well. Write when it suits.



I like it when a plan* comes together!

*to pick fruit or otherwise

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

93 minutes

During 6 conversations so far I've spent 93 minutes (lots of that on hold) and I don't want to think about how many $$$'s making long distance calls trying to get something sorted out in Hong Kong.

19 times I've been told "Please hold the line, I just need to check your account details"

5 times I've been told "we will post your cheque to you in the next few days".

5 times I've replied "Please check your records, where you will see that I submitted a request in writing that you transfer the funds directly to my account"

5 times I've been told "OK thank you Ms Mia, I see that information hasn't been noted on your file, but yes I have a copy of your request, I will make a note of your request"

3 times I've been told "There is no problem, everything is in order, we will process your claim in the next few days"

2 times I've been told "Oh there seems to be a problem, we need document X and a copy of your passport"

2 times I've replied "You have document X, you also have a copy of my passport, please check your records again"

2 times I've been told "Everything has been processed, we have your cheque ready to transfer into your account, it will be done first thing tomorrow morning."

2 times I've replied "Please call me to confirm when the cheque has been deposited.

I'm still waiting ......................... and if I'm still waiting on Monday morning I shall be turning up in person at the office, and if they think I'm an annoying customer on the phone, they should just gird their loins in anticipation of a face to face stomp.


24 hours later its sorted, but no they didn't ring and tell me. Oh well, moving on.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I am fabulous

It's official, I just had an end of project review and my immediate boss thinks I'm the bees knees, I take on lots of challenges and am quick to adapt to new situations and says how I've made everyone's lives much more interesting just by being around - and she said that was a good thing! She's also said that by bringing me on board she has received praise as well.

Oh isn't that just a wonderful way to finish a Tuesday!

Right, I have a few loose ends to tie up in the next 3 days then I'm off On Tour, as mentioned below I'm heading to the Americas this summer.
Plan A is to head to Vancouver, then Vancouver Island for some much needed fresh air and exercise, I shall be hiking (!!!) for 2 weeks and then I'm heading across the boarder to the PNW where if I am extremely lucky I shall be having even more adventures.

I'm thinking of taking a week in LA or perhaps Vegas, and as I'll be travelling alone for that part of my trip I'm hoping I can have some fun times.

If not then I'll either fly over to NY where I have friends and family, or down to Charleston where my cousin lives with her military husband - her reply to my "perhaps I might come visit, would that be ok?" was to say "Well the only thing here are 30,000 marines, but you're welcome to come visit" - after 10 years of living in Asia and being very low on the dating pile she has no idea how enticing that sounds.
But quite honestly, I'm not fixing anything in stone, its all going to be about where the wind and the mood (and the airline prices) take me.

So, if you had a week to show me around your home town/city/area what would you suggest?

Monday, June 23, 2008


One of the best things about becoming more accepting of myself is that when I am described as being "nice" I am able to happily agree. Its not now nor has it ever been an insult in my eyes.

So yes, I'm nice. As well as being a whole heap of other things.

I'm also rather excited as in a few short days I shall be heading off on a bit of an adventure, going to visit a brand new continent*. Yep I'm coming to North America.

For fresh air and farmers markets, for sunshine and showers, for supermarkets and sci-fi. For hiking and exploring, trying out my new camera - its a grown up persons camera with lenses and everything! And if you scroll down to the bottom of this page you'll see that one of my favourite things are raspberries - and there are going to hopefully be oddles of them!

*Apart from 3 nights in New York 9 years ago, which really doesn't count.

I'm back ...........

Well actually I'm back because Madame Chiang gave me a great title for the next couple of weeks, I'm going on a 'Tour de Whore' - SHE says.
I just think I'm going on a bit of a trip to some funky places and will meet lots of people on the way.

Anyone out there got me in their RSS feed still?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Living life


All is wonderful.

I'm a tad tipsy after an evening drinking cocktails.

Lots of affirmation of love.

All is wonderful my love bucket over runeth

Saturday, March 15, 2008


I just had the best birthday party in a very long time.


Sunday, March 09, 2008


My alibi on Saturday night was the flirty Frenchman. Who was yours?

Friday, March 07, 2008

What's Lemonel?

I innocently asked ...............

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Stuff I learnt from TV

I was surfing away at the US immigration website and I hit the Naturalization Self Test option, with absolutely no prep at all I got 78% correct. So I guess all those years of watching The West Wing finally paid off!

Although I have to admit some of the questions were a little tricky, such as ...

What are the two major political parties in the United States today?
The House of Representatives and the Senate
Federalist and Reform
Bull-Moose and the Whigs
Democratic and Republican

or even

Who helped the Pilgrims in America?
Christopher Columbus
George Washington
Thomas Jefferson
The American Indians/Native Americans

Wednesday, March 05, 2008


Yesterday over lunch with some new friends I was asked if any old flames would be attending an up and coming event of mine. After a brief pause to flip through my mental guest list I realised no. I also realised that 6 out of the last 7 men that I have dated and/or interested in are now married*. This morning I got a round robin email from the seventh - to say that he and his new gf are having a baby.

*Only counting the still living ones obviously.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

The cold fairy visit

Last night I was feeling great, cooked myself a healthy supper and was curled up in bed at a decent hour with a good book. Then at 2:00am I woke up with a cold! A thumping head, streaming nose, sinus pulsating, dry throat coughing, cold! Seriously that cold fairy had better not visit me again in the night. ~bleh~

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Conversation with aging parents

My father called me* this evening, and after a full dissection of why I didn't answer the phone when he called earlier. (I was out!) He asked ........

Father: "would you like to talk to your mother**
Mia: "umm ok, if she wants to"
Father (whispers): "its Mother's Day"
Mia: "not here its not, but ok, put her on"

muffled conversation in the background
Father: "It's Mia, she wants to talk to you"
Mother: "But I'm making the tea"
Father: "It's ok, the tea can wait"
Mother: "Oh ok then"

Mother: "Hello"
Mia: "Are you having a good day Mother?"
Mother: "Oh thank you yes, we've just heard that your Father's 2nd cousin has just died, I never met her but your Father said that Grandma took you once to her place in Portsmouth for afternoon tea - do you remember her? You must have been about 6."
Mia: Not really, Grandma took me to lots of relatives for afternoon tea.
Mother: Well we are going to the funeral and apparently the service is going to be held at XXXX Abbey, which as you know*** is just a ruin so it should be quite an interesting service"
Mia: "As long as it doesn't rain, so how are you?"
Mother: "Ok then, bye"

Yep, thats one of the 3 conversations that my mother and I have had since last August.
And yet I still have people not believing me when I tell them she has no interest in me.

This phone call is even more odd when you remember that they didn't bother calling me on Christmas Day, New Years Day or my birthday last year. Yet I'm still expected to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.

*A very rare happening these days
** A never before suggested idea
*** Actually I didn't, but great, now I do!

So much to say, no words to explain

Everything is just peachy.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend too.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


I've been arranging a bit of a gathering for a while now.
Out of an original 23 who said they would be able to attend its down to FOUR!!
Plus 3 still undecided.

We're only a couple of weeks away from the event and its making me a little sad. So instead of counting the people who are not coming I'm trying realllllly hard to be excited about the 4 who are, and still holding out hope that the 3 undecided will make their decision in my favour soon.


I've already had to re write my menu plan and cancel accommodation.

Edit: Just to clarify and to put straight the person who has submitted comments laughing at me for only having 4 people in my life. The 23 I mentioned are those who were flying in from other countries for the party. As it stands now, there are nine people who have bought tickets to come to another country to join in the festivities. And I'm really looking forward to introducing them to my new circle of friends here.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Its easier for you perhaps

I've noticed a common thread running through many of the replies I've had to my online dating profile. Men telling me to use Yahoo or MSN or whatever "because its easier" - easier for whom? Easier for them in fact, I have over the years used Yahoo and MSN and now I use Skype for family and friends and gchat for vitual contacts - because its easier for me and when the first contact is made and I'm being told to do something by someone I usually think, "no thanks".

Case in point - one of today's replies

"Dear Good Friend,

I'm in Australia now. I want to communicate with you more. If it is convenience, please contact me via Skype or MSN. We can talk face to face, which is much easier and efficient.

It will be my pleasure to communicate with you. Wish you can contact me in your convenience time.

MSN Name :
Skype Name : DXXXX
(Skype is very good for internet chat...internet face to face chat...please could you use the skype!
I have a Skype mobile phone, which is switched on 24 hours a day)

Wish you enjoy everyday. "

~sigh~ no thanks.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

New shoes

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The One

I've been asked 4 times today if the man I've had only 2 dates with could be "The One", each time I have laughed out loud at the very idea.
If you've been trampled over and had your heart smushed into tiny pieces as many times as I have you will understand that there is a huge HUGE empty patch where 'hope' used to reside in my heart. I can't possible allow even a passing wondering thought into my mind that THIS ONE could be somehow different to the men who have lied and broken me in the past.
Does this mean I approach this new man with trepidation and fear? No not at all, it means that I go out and enjoy his company, I don't worry that it might mean something more or less that he's not contacted me for a couple of days other than he is really really busy at work.
I talk about him with a smile on my face, and yes I'm looking forward to seeing him again soon. BUT I'm not investing anything of myself in him at this point. This is new for me. Of course as its the first time I've actually dated anyone past the first date since my last lover was snatched from me by a stupid drunk driver over a year ago, I may just have forgotten how to get excited about men. ~sigh~ We shall see. Or not, as the case may be. I seem to have so very little influence on the outcome of any of my past relationships that this probably won't make any difference.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Keeping drivers employed

I just went to book a taxi for the airport at the reception. Happened to stand next to a lady (N) who also wanted a taxi for the airport for exactly the same flight. We've spoken a few times and know each other by name.

Mia: Oh I'm taking that flight, do you want to share a taxi.
N: Yes that works.
Lady at the desk: No you can't share a taxi.

Mia & N: Umm but we're friends on the same flight

Lady at the desk: But you want two taxis, thats 400 each. If just one then its cheaper price.

N: Yes, thats why we want to share.

Lady at the desk: But then one taxi won't have a ride.

Mia: If we flagged down a taxi on the street what would it cost us - about?

Lady: Maybe 500 or 600

N: And they would let us share?

Lady: Yes

N: Then that's what we do right Mia?

Mia: Works for me!

N: So cancel that booking, we will take one off the street, thanks.


2 hours later, the lady from the desk comes to find me and says

"Its ok, we can let you share the taxi, shall I book it for you?"
Mia: Yes thats good, thank you.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Being looked after

I have a little crush on my Dive Master*, he's been looking after me terribly well over the last 2 days and 1 night of dives. So well in fact that today when we were diving in low visibility he held my hand so I didn't get lost as we swam through a cave. Then he kept hold of my hand for the next 20 minutes or so when the visibility was just fine. On land he's a bit like an overgrown lab, but in the water he is as elegant** as a ray and just for that short time - it was very nice to be looked after, to feel safe and for once not to be the only person watching out for me.
I'm taking him out for supper to say thank you this evening.

*Of course it may just be the 'Master' thing . . .
** Compared to me, who when I needed to remove my weight belt under water, was probably as elegant as a baby hippo

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


Oh look thats my post - except strangely over there I'm called ashish

Blogroll pout

These days I hardly click on my own blogroll, most of my favourite reads come to me via RSS feeds, with 3 noticeable exceptions, James, Helen and E@L, they don't allow a feed. Still for those 3 its no great hardship to make the effort of a click. Although if E@L gets any more graphic about his feet I may have to take a break.
So why do I still have a roll? Basically to be polite I guess, to let them know that I'm still reading, to encourage anyone that drops here to blurf their way. I do notice when I get dropped from other peoples blogroll and I wonder why? Was it that my rambling chat finally bored them? Did they disagree with something I posted? Or do they just plain not like me any more?
I usually don't give it more than a fleeting thought, although seeing one of my very old and rather dull conversations with Indiana being dredged up to illustrate his post does raise an eyebrow, given that he doesn't think I'm worthy of a place on his blogroll after all the time we've known each other. We go back to the days of being Discombobulated and Platypus, I know he still reads here (Hello You) as he comments from time to time. Yet do you see me on his blogroll - nope. This irks me slightly.

I know some people use their roll as a way of showing how popular they are, how fashionable/trendy they are, in much the same way that 'impressive' books will be scattered around an apartment for visitors and the old quote of judging a man by his friends probably stands true for blogroll as much as real life. I use mine as a small way of saying I read what you write, sometimes I don't like it, but often it interests me.


DISCLAIMER: I'm on day 4 without sugar, so perhaps a little sensitive?

Monday, February 04, 2008


Yep, have arrived in the south of Thailand, first thoughts - gosh this island is so much more commercialised since I was last here (2 years ago) and almost unreconisable from when I was first here in 1999.
But the place I'm staying is still child free (hurrah) mostly non smoking in the restaurant (hurrah hurrah) and just as chilled as ever. The chilled watermelon juice present at reception was just as lush as I remembered and the coconut ice cream I had for supper even better.

Today I walked into town to check out what had changed - many things! There is even a McD here now which makes me sad, its probably the last time I'll come here, but to be honest its time I found another bolt-hole in Thailand.

Visit into town resulted in 2 icky observations, I went to a respectable looking place for a foot massage, it was respectable, but the Aussie man separated from me only by a flimsy curtain really did his best to talk his girl into giving him a 'happy ending', it really made me feel rather uncomfortable to listen to him offer her more and more money and try and sweet talk her into giving him a tug at the end of his hour massage. This conversation was going on just 3 ft from the bed I was on, and the girl was talking really quietly, he however was not, he was being extremely arrogant. I left before he did. My girl was great and was really rather embarrassed, kept turning the music up to cover the sound of oil on flesh slapping noises.
After that I stopped at a bar/restaurant for some early lunch (yes it was only 11am) and another westerner of a certain age came in, he sat nearby and invited the waitress to join him for something to eat, she declined, he tried to talk her into it, then spoke to the chief waiter and said "I'm looking for a girlfriend for a few days - will she come with me?". The waiter said no. The customer paid up his bill and left.
There are thousands of whores in this country who are willing to put up with the old, fat and disgusting white man pawing at them, why can't these men let the waitress etc go about her job without being made to feel for sale.
Still it was a very quick reminder of the white man's attitude here in Asia, the man who travels to Thailand alone doesn't stay alone for very long.

Now however I'm heading off to meet some friends for supper and drink a toast to those with some integrity in the world.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Tall men are great

Two men both around 6ft tall, have volunteered to 'escort' me through a rather busy area tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


I'm cold, the inside heating is non existant and there is no insulation. The walls are cement and the floors are wooden. There are lots and lots of windows.

So this evening I did something for the first time, I made myself a cup of hot chocolate. Up till this point I have always stood by the following statements.

I don't now nor have I ever liked milk*
I don't drink hot drinks.
I don't like the smell of warm milk

So obviously I've never drunk a hot chocolate, but when I was in the UK last summer I did notice that my niece was drinking things that looked more like dessert than a drink, they had cream and flakes and marshmallows in, but I was still not tempted. Till tonight.

But tonight I was cold and I spotted a packet of mini marshmallows. And I had some rather posh hot chocolate powder left over from Christmas. So now I've got something to wrap my hands around, and do you know what, its actually rather nice! Great just what I needed, a new vice!

*The ONE exception to that was a Tootsies** butterscotch milkshake with extra butterscotch - yummm
** Can't find the link at the moment, but I will!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

A bundle of bloggers

So next week I'm heading off to Thailand for some R&R followed by a work 'thing', all paid for by the new boss.
I'll be seeing my good friend Madame Chiang and also keeping an eye out for the 2 dodgy expats from Singapore.

Not the best of starts to a Sunday

I lay in bed for too long this morning, my mind wandering into areas which were not helpful or productive. In fact I wandered into the area of 'what difference am I making in my world?" and the answer was none. From this I very quickly travelled down through the stages of sadness, futility and despair.
I moved into the 'when would be the best time to just disappear', my affairs are not really in order so it would be a hassle for those left to sort out admin if I left just now, but if I hang around for a few more weeks then my Baby Girl will be here and there is no way I'd want her to have to deal with the aftermath. So then if I plan for my demise after she has gone back to the UK, that would make more sense. But then again that could leave her with feelings of guilt that she left me when I so very much wanted to stay. ~sigh~ I can't do that too her.
So it looks like I'll stay around for a bit longer, unless I can find a cause worth dying for. If I could swap my health for my sister then I'd do it in an instant. I just don't seem to have a cause worth living for at the moment.

And then I got up, had a long hot shower, washed my hair, got dressed, had some breakfast and those thoughts moved just a little bit further to the back of my mind.
Note to self: Sometimes I think too much.

Friday, January 25, 2008

The one in the middle

A few days ago I received an email from my elder sibling, it was addressed to my younger sib, his wife and myself, in it she told us some very upsetting news about her health. She wanted to make sure that we all knew at the same time. The sort of news that is hard to hear, the sort of news that is very hard to reply to. But (of course) I did, I replied with the 'so sorry to hear this', 'let me know if I can help' and 'I love you' lines and followed it up with a phone call to her today. We chatted for a long time about everything in her life, decisions she is having to make about her daughters future and what medical tests were going to be taken over the next week. She also said that neither my brother or his wife had replied to her email, and the she was "cut to the quick" that they didn't make even the smallest effort on hearing her news. We talked a while longer about different situations and family members and ended up saying goodbye reasonably happily.

Then I called my brother, we chatted for a while about this and that. Holidays, diving and moving home, just general news. Then I asked if he'd read his sisters email, he said that yes he had, but didn't know what to reply. I offered a few suggestions, to which he mumbled that yes he probably should. Then said he was just too busy to get online much these days. At this point I reminded him that thanks to Facebook news feed I knew how often he snatched a moment during his day to do a movie quiz, post some photos or send some pokes around and that he should spend 2 minutes sending a message of care to his sister.

Seriously I wonder how it is that I'm the only one in my family that takes the time and effort to make contact with anyone, is it that everyone else is married and therefore doesn't care about their blood family anymore? My siblings are 12 years apart in age and have very little in common with each other, and both of them seem to be happy to let each other drift away - yet I am so close to both of them and adore them with all my heart. And sometimes it really makes me sad that they don't share that love with each other - especially as they only live 2 hours drive from one another.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

My Baby Girl

My baby girl is leaving the UK for a few months, coming to visit me and we will be taking a little trip together around Asia.
I've spent the last few hours putting together some plans for our travels, we're both very excited and looking forward to being together again. But oh I wish she would hurry up and confirm her flight date leaving the UK, I know that if I book anything before she does then it will have to be changed.

On a scale of 1 to 10, having her with me will put me at about an 11.

As you can see from the photo, I taught her how to bake at a very early age, so it will be grand to have someone to play with in the kitchen.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Going home to Hong Kong

This weekend I was in a city I made home, this weekend I was somewhere that was familiar, vibrant and exciting and even better I got to share the fantastic place with some great new friends.

It's really brought home to me how the new place I live is not yet somewhere I am confident in. There is the safety factor in Hong Kong, that at any time* I can make the decision to go home and walk only a few yards before finding a taxi which will take me safely and easily home.

There is the 'in the know' factor, that I can spin out a dozen places I'd LIKE to go and drink and eat in, depending on my mood and the tone of the evening.

I had a fantastic time this weekend, my friends have all said that they saw a different side to me, the exuberant confident woman that few have seen up till now during social situations.

But, and this is the biggest thing for me to remember, I do NOT regret leaving Hong Kong. It's a wonderful city, a place where I grew into a different person, a city I happily will return to many many more times in the future but now its time to move on.

On Saturday morning I woke up slowly, I flexed my ankles, my calves, taking an inventory of my body as I remembered the dancing in my knee high boots for 7 hours. Stretching out my toes and torso feeling all those wonderful muscles which moved me so gracefully** across the dance floor, on the bar, on the tables and in the street. My eyes opened - the first thing I saw was a very obviously not mine item of clothing strewn across the back of a chair. A very obviously item of clothing that belongs to a flirty Frenchman.

And then, after just a few seconds I remembered that at some point in the evening I had changed into his shirt*** because I was feeling too hot in the top I was wearing - on the dance floor. ~sigh~

Yes, much fun was had this weekend in Hong Kong. Hope yours was fun too.

* Say 4:22am perhaps


*** very discreetly no doubt ~ahem~

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Hurrah Hurrah

I'm leaving the apartment at 8:00am and heading off to Hong Kong tomorrow, hip hip hurrah.
It's going to be quite odd because I'm travelling with a few new friends - showing them the high lights of my favourite city in the world. Far too much alcohol will be consumed and a bundle of laughs all wrapped up in some brand new memories.

Have a good weekend.

Monday, January 14, 2008


Oh its been a long time since I was tagged - but here goes thanks to DGNY

I have to write 7 things I approve of.

Tactileness: Sometimes the only thing that makes a bad day bearable is warm arms wrapped around you.

Lush: Especially the jasmine scented lines, slipping into a deep bath filled with soft bubbles and gorgeous scent is a real treat.

Books: Curling up with a good book, one of my all time favourite past times.

Kitchens: In my dreams one day my kitchen will be the heart of the home, for now its somewhere that I can nurture friends and loved ones AND have heaps of fun!

Sci-fi: From Blakes 7 to Battlestar Gallactica and everything in between, I love Sci-fi!

Curly Wurlys (& many more types of chocolate): But it has to be British Cadburys.

Something soft, silky and utterly sexy which sometimes only you know about just makes a difference under those sensible work clothes. And if someone else knows, then all then even better.

So - who to tag, well here we go

Favourite lines from recent emails

"You may have had sun but I had the Irish to party with."

"You just put a lovely big smile on my face and you are 1000s of miles away. Now that's something special"

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god! XXXXXXXXXX?! WAHHHHH! I literally can't believe you just casually dropped that into the conversation! Crikey me, I think I'm going to have to go and have a lie down before I even think about trying to reply to your email. I'm so excited!!!"

3 very different people replying to 3 very different emails, but oh I love them. ~sigh~

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Expectations of honesty

Peter and I had briefly dated back in London, his sister was a really good friend of mine and she did all she could to warn me off him - saying he was a total player and ran around misbehaving - but he wooed me, sent me V Day cards with poems hand written inside, was so tactile that I was never short of hugs and kisses, sent me plants (he knew I liked them more than flowers*) he persuaded me for quite a while until he caught me - then after a whirl wind romance for 4 months, we lots of great weekend away, we broke up. But I was ok about it, I had gone into the whole thing with my eyes open and was fully briefed by his sister. It all ended well enough that I was able to spend special celebrations with my friend and her family without any awkwardness. We did truly remain friends - as much for his sisters sake as our own.
Years later we had lost touch, I'd moved to Hong Kong and Peter had got married, had a 2 year old daughter and another baby due in 3 more months. This I only knew because his sister and I exchanged occasional emails.

I took a phone call one Thursday, it was Peter, calling from Heathrow airport - he and his wife and child were travelling to Australia - to live for a year - they both worked for an airline so were on standby tickets and had just been told they would have a flight via Hong Kong - was I going to be free for breakfast on Saturday morning? They would have 12 hours to pass at the airport and did I fancy coming to meet up?
I said yes, I went out to the airport and had breakfast with them, they had arrived late the night before and Peter's wife was 6 months pregnant, with a toddler and exhausted.
She went back to the hotel room for another nap after breakfast and Peter and I took the toddler to the playpark area. Peter told me that as far as his wife knew, I was just a friend of his and his sisters - it was in fact his sister who had mentioned me being in Hong Kong. I laughed and said that was fine by me, in fact I did think of myself as 'just a friend' rather than anything else towards him - and that was that. A few hours passed and we said goodbye - he headed back to the hotel to gather up all their luggage and head back to the check in desk. I walked away thinking how nicely things had worked out for them.

4 hours later I got a phone call from Peter. He said that there hadn't been enough standby tickets for the 3 of them, so he had sent his wife and toddler on to Australia and he would take the flight the next day. Could he crash at my place on the Saturday night. he'd been to HK before so he was happy doing his own thing.

He's a friend right? So I said yes but that I had a date lined up so he could crash at my place but that if he wanted to go out and about he'd be on his own - he was happy enough with that plan - after all he wanted to explore what HK had to offer to a single looking guy. (this should have been my warning flag #1) I gave him my address and he dropped off his bags, gave him a spare key and made up the spare room and was showered and ready for a night out long before my date showed up.
We went our separate ways, I had a fun night out with my date and Peter no doubt had a good night in Wanchai. I never heard him come in, but it was after me and that was about 3am, so I didn't rush to wake him too early. But when it got to about 10am and he hadn't surfaced I woke him as I knew he'd have to get out to the airport to get his next flight. He told me he'd phoned in** and there wasn't a flight for him then either so was it ok if he stayed another day.
He checked his messages to find one from his wife, she'd been diverted to another airport due to bad weather so had had to hire a car and drive herself and child and luggage (in the terrible weather) to the town where they had a rented house waiting for them - 7 hours drive away. This sounded awful for the poor woman, but Peter seemed in no hurry to join her. In fact he lounged around the apartment for ages before announcing that he was going to head out into Wanchai on Sunday afternoon. Apparently he'd been talking to some guys on Saturday night who told him all about the situation that is HK on a Sunday afternoon - a huge amount of young Filipino/Thai/Indonesian maids use their one day off a week to hang out at bars in the hopes of having some fun with their friends, and if they could pick up some paying western men for the afternoon then all the better. Anyone that's lived in HK for even a month knows that these part time prostitutes have a terrible life with their employers and this is their one ticket out of the drudgery they face week in and week out. The majority of the drinking and the pay for play goes on before 7pm as most of these ladies have to be back at their employers homes for curfew.

So off Peter went to Wanchai, I had invited him to join me at a brunch I was having with friends, but he wasn't interested. I got home about 3pm and was reading the sunday papers on the sofa when I heard his key in the door, I also heard giggling of the female kind.
He walked into my apartment with a bar girl he'd picked up. He brought a whore into my home to screw her. He was surprised to see me, but just said that he'd just come back for an hour or so and they would be gone again. I stood there for a second dumbfounded.
And then very calmly I told him that under no circumstances would he be setting one more foot into my home. He was to leave now and take his guest with him. I then walked into his room, grabbed his bag and handed it to him and told him that he was no longer welcome in my home.
He tried to argue the matter with me but I ignored him and asked the woman to leave - as she stood at the door putting her boots back on*** I asked her if she cared that he was a married man with children. I was of course wasting my breath - she just shrugged at me and said she didn't care - it was just money, not love so it was ok.
They left.
As they did my phone rang, it was my brother, he knew Peter quite well as they'd met on many occasions over the years and being the upright honest bloke that he is, he was just as disgusted with him as I was. When I said to my sib "why is this upsetting me so much" he came out with a very wise answer which I've never forgotten "Because if things had turned out differently between you and Peter, it could have been you that he was messing around on - and you have expectations of honesty from men that you care about" We talked for a while and he calmed me down, then I went to make myself some supper.
Then the doorbell rang, Peter was back. It had only been about 20 mins since he'd left so I pressume he just dropped her back in Wanchai then came home. He wasn't drunk - not that that is an excuse to screw around on your wife and children. I opened the door to him and he begged me to let him stay.
I've never spoken to anyone with such disgust in my voice as I did that evening, I told him that he could literally sleep here and that was that. I didn't want to speak to him or see him. He came in and went to hug me - I said the words that to someone like me who is the most tactile person I know I thought I'd never say - I said "don't touch me, you are vile" .
At this point he finally realised my white cold anger, my disgust at his behaviour, the sorrow I felt for his wife, the pain I felt due to his actions. He begged me literally on his knees not to tell his wife or his sister. I told him to get away from me. And he did. He sat and watched the TV for a few hours then went online and booked and paid for a flight out of Hong Kong.

The next day I took the morning off work, I didn't trust him in my apartment alone. He left at about 10am and he and I have never spoken or seen each other since.

And even after that rude awakeing, I still have expectations of honesty from men that I care about.

* not that I don't like getting flowers - I really do!
** later he admitted that he hadn't even bothered calling the airline.
*** Yes he'd had the consideration to get the whore to take her shoes off!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

2nd time around

Last week I tried out my first attempt at a new dessert.

Today I tweaked it a little more

3/4 cup of caster sugar
500g mascarpone cheese
3 tablespoons of Cointreau
6 tablespoons of orange juice
Small amount of chocolate

Beat together the cheese and sugar until thick and pale.
Add Cointreau and orange juice, beat again.
Fill small martini glasses (makes 6) & chill in the fridge for 2 hours.

Grate chocolate on top and serve with a small spoon

Saturday, January 05, 2008

My Perfect Bath

LTT illuminated bathtub

Updated for 2008

I thought I'd do my version of the perfect bath. Please note this is just how I do it and should not be considered definitive in anyway ~grin~


Make sure there is enough hot water for your needs, in my case this involves putting on the water heater a full 15 mins ahead of water running time.
Have 1 large soft fluffy warm towel, 1 smaller soft fluffy towel, 1 large fluffy robe and 1 decent sized soft foot mat.
Bathroom warm.
Soft lighting, perhaps a few candles or just the light over the sink.
Music set up to play for at least 60 mins
Choice of Lush bath time products - current favorite are Turbo Bar and Fairy Jasmine
A book - my current bath time reading is Little Birds
Moisturiser bar - Fever.
Dusting powder - Silky Underwear


Set water to run, what works best for me is running only the hot water for exactly 20 minutes, the hot actually runs out after 15 mins and is then topped up with cool water for the last 5.

Turn off water, light candles, turn on music, turn off all phones then drop in one Fairy Jasmine.

Tie long hair up softly on the top of your head, undress and step into a beautiful soft jasmine scented bath - with sparkles.

Turn on the hot tap (which by now has fully reheated) and crumble one half of a Turbo Bar under the water, let the bubbles grow and cover the surface of the bath and the water level rise just enough so that you can submerge your body up to the neck and enjoy the sensation of the delicious water.

Lay there for as long as you need to.

Reach for a book if you wish or just let your mind relax.

After perhaps a long while as the water begins to slightly cool, wash body carefully, making sure that all corners are taken care of.

Pull out the plug, letting the water drain away.

Turn on shower head and rinse any remanding soap or bubbles from your body.

Reach for large warm towel and wrap it around your body, step out of bath on to floor mat - then dry body, again making sure that all areas are carefully attended to.

Moisturise body thoroughly with the Fever bar and a dash of Silky Underwear

Wrap in fluffy robe and retire to the bedroom, leaving a gentle scent of jasmine behind you.

Night ..............

4 times by midnight

At 4 different times today I've had the wonderful flush of being filled with joy and happiness. Honestly who could ask for anything more.

Friday, January 04, 2008

The mess

Even though I only turned my TV on for 20 mins in the last 12 hours I've been unable to escape the madness that has happened in the Spears household.

A friend just sent me this YouTube link - seriously have the snap happy idiots (I hesitate to call them journalists) got a clue? It's Princess Diana all over again, who is going to have to die next as a result of their actions?

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Gift in the spring time, pays off in the winter

Last night I had a perfectly gorgeously warm snugly sleep. And its all thanks to Seven Seas.

Last year he gave me something that I thought was very thoughtful, last night I used it for the first time in my new apartment and it was perfect.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008


A few days ago I caught a documentary on TV about a group of people who suffer from Prosopagnosia. I half watched it* then thought no more about it till this morning.

This morning I lay in bed thinking about where 2007 has taken me and about the new people in my life and it suddenly dawned on me that I have a problem. I couldn't remember what any of my new friends look like.

I don't have Prosopagnosia = Face blindness, as described here

But what I do have is an inability to visualise faces when they are not in front of me, I recognise people when I meet them, I recognise them in photos, I'm good with names and I usually remember who is who. BUT if I try to visualise someone's face I can't do it.

This morning I tested myself.

My parents, my siblings, lovers and colleagues from my past - they are all just shapes.

I can tell you that my brother is about 5ft 8 - because this is a fact that I've been told, that he is a lot slimmer than he used to be - because we've had conversations about weight loss and he has dark brown hair but as to what his face looks like - I can't say. As I type this I glance over my desk to a photograph of the 2 of us together and I smile at my darling brother.

I know which of my past lovers had facial hair, long, short or shaved heads, which were tall enough to envelope me in their arms and which were not. But without looking at past photos I struggle to visualise their faces - apart from 2.

1) He gave me a pencil line drawing he'd had done of himself, the picture was framed and hung on my wall for over 2 years. I can 'see' that drawing when I think of him.

2) The man who for 5 years held my heart in his grasp while he toyed and played with me. I can 'see' his face in a certain photo taken at my birthday party.

Then I started to try and remember the people I have worked with over the last few years, the people who I have spent hours and hours with. I know what colour hair they have, the styles they wear and their height. But again I can't 'see' their faces.

So I thought about my new colleagues and friends, again I can see their hair colour, styles and height, but can't see their faces - its as if they are just visible out of the corner of my eye, yet when I turn and look straight at them there is nothing there.

But the scariest moment of all came when I tried to visualise my own face. Yes I know I've got green eyes, I've got freckles and long curly hair. But I can't see my own face. I jumped out of bed and ran to the mirror.

So I've spent the first half of the first day of 2008 looking up different information** on the web, whilst its scary actually facing (ho ho) up to this its also a bit of a relief to realise I'm not the only person who struggles from this sort of thing. I'm lucky that I know who people are when I see them and this doesn't affect my day to day life.

What I do find interesting is that I've lived my whole life without realising I had this 'thing' going on, I wonder if I've always been this way? I wonder if this is the reason I have surrounded myself with photos of loved ones. I wonder if I can tell people in the real world.

*I was preparing dinner for 12 at the time.
** One point was that people with this 'thing' often don't bother wearing make up - after all why bother when its something we don't pay much attention too. Thats me!